Saved By A Bad Boy

[41]. Break Ups...

I sat on the swing in the Maxwell garden. The winter sky was gray. Snow coated the hedges and plants and ground. It was cold, but I didn't care. I was lying there with eyes closed, thinking about everything. Tomorrow was Monday. Back to school. After everything that had happened, I couldn't imagine seeing Maya or Milo again. How could I look them in the eyes and pretend that everything was okay, lying right to their faces? They were my friends. We've been through almost everything together. And I was ashamed to think that I'd have to keep this from them. Especially Maya.

I heard footsteps crunching against the snow. My heart stumbled to catch a beat, but I steadied myself. I knew that wasn't Troy.

"Are you trying to get sick?" Jax asked, coming right behind me.

"If I do, then I won't have to practice self defense, right?" I replied with a smile. Two firm arms came around me, sending a stream of warmth through my body. His lips pressed against my cheek, and then they were in my ear.

"Please stay here again tonight," he requested. My heart lurched. I could hear his worry, the fear straining his voice. I hated being the cause of that.

"Jax, I can't. I have school in the morning," I said, which hardly mattered. That wasn't my reason for denying it.

"We can go to your house and pick up your things," he offered. I sighed and took a deep breath. I wanted to stay with Jax. I wanted to be with someone who made me feel safe, who didn't mind my nightmares. But the truth of why I couldn't settled on my bones with a heavy weight.

"I can't leave my mother," I said. I felt him tense. He forgot about that piece.

"Then I'll stay at your house," Jax continued. Another solution that I couldn't accept.

"No," I answered simply.

"No? Why not?" Jax asked. Because you can't be there, I wanted to say. You can't be there if Troy comes. He'll kill you.

"Jax..." I began. "I can't let you do that." It wasn't much of an explanation. Jax sighed.

"Listen, I don't care what we do," he said. "But I'm not leaving you and your mom alone. If you really believe I'd do that, then eighteen years of friendships didn't teach you enough." Yes. Almost eighteen years of friendship had taught me plenty. It taught me that Jax would die before he put my mother and I in harm's way, and it also taught me that he was determined enough to win this argument.

"I don't want you to see him," I said. "If he ever hurt you...I don't know if I could forgive myself." Jax's arms tightened.

"Don't you get it, Lis?" he began. "You've been trying to protect me from Troy for so long. And I get it. I would have done the same if I was in your position. But Lis, I want to protect you. And if he hurt you, I wouldn't forgive myself." I leaned into his embrace.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes it's just hard to believe," I whispered, because that was the truth.

"What's hard to believe?" he asked.

"That you could want to be with me after all this," I admitted. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," I whispered. "I can't believe you're more stubborn than I am." He laughed.

"You're lucky I am. Now come inside, you'll catch a cold," he told me. I slid off the swing slowly.

"I won't catch a cold," I argued. Suddenly, he pulled me into his arms so that I was pressed up against his warm body.

"Now you won't," he whispered. I felt a blush crawl up my cheeks. A replay of that night in New York, when we were on the rooftop. I grinned. And then I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. He returned it with his own, gentle kiss. His warm breath warmed my face as he held me against him.