Between Love and Hate

Chapter 15 (The Boys)

Wow over 100 comments on the last chapter :D thank you so so so much, keep it up !

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Harry

I looked at the screen in front of me, trying to concentrate on what was written on Wikipedia. I had to write an essay about an important historic event, but my mind was completely elsewhere. It was impossible to think about school, when all I could see was a pair of big brown eyes, filled with tears.

I kept thinking about how Jackie was constantly bullied by Kurt and Jason, and how Louis somehow took her side. What was going on between her and Louis?

The thought of them being together made my heart ache, although I had no idea why. Why did I even care? I had a girlfriend which…I honestly didn’t love. I was afraid of letting Mackenzie go…not because I loved her, because I was too terrified that I’d have nobody else.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I shouldn’t be having such thoughts. Only girls were thinking about relationship problems and being alone. Truth was, the thought of being left again was scarier than death for me.

I don’t know why I did it, but I grabbed my phone and texted Louis, whilst my heart was beating uncontrollably.

To: Louis
Sent at: 5:29pm

do u like jackie?

My heart was pounding against my ribcage as I waited for his answer. I was scared of his answer. What if he said he liked her? What then?

I chewed on my bottom lip as I finished the essay, knowing I’ll probably receive something below a 60, but right now I didn’t care. The anticipation of his response made me anxious.

I nearly jumped out of my seat when my phone beeped. I unlocked the screen and opened the text with my fingertips pounding.

A wave mixed with relief and anger washed over me as I read the text:

From: Mackenzie
Received at: 5:37pm

Come over to hang out 2nite?


I soon received another text, from Niall.

From: Niall
Received at: 5:39pm

Lets go clubin tnite !

I sighed and sent them both the message that we could hang out at Mackenzie’s place, since they were so bored. I needed a distraction from everything right now. I was thankful that Robin and my mom were gone until the end of the week. I was alone, so that’s why I wanted to get out of the house and go somewhere; anywhere.

I bit the inside of my cheek after two hours of Louis not answering. I knew he saw the text, it was Monday, and he practically carried his phone everywhere he went. Every time I sent him a text, asking him if he was busy or telling him about my shagging with Macknezie, he would respond immediately. 

I sent Mackenzie a text, saying I was in front of her house. She ripped the door open, revealing herself in some short shorts and a see-through tank top.

Niall appeared behind her, smiling. “About time mate.”

We shook hands and I kissed Mackenzie, before I took my shoes off and followed them inside. I didn’t even care that Niall could practically see my girlfriend’s goods, all I cared was about Louis’ pending answer.

“My parents aren’t coming home until tomorrow, so we have the house to ourselves.”, she said sitting down on the couch with a stack of DVD’s in her hand. 

“If you want, I can stay with you tonight.”

“We have school tomorrow.”, Niall said quickly and I looked at him surprised. Since when did he care about school? And since when was he cockblocking me? Not cool bro.

Mackenzie shot him a look and he sat down next to her. 

“What are we watching?”, he asked not looking at her. 

“I don’t know.”

“How about Iron Man?”, I suggested sitting down on her other side. 

“Ew no.”, she protested but Niall was already putting the movie in the DVD player and I was getting up to go get some beer. 

When I came back, they were already on the couch, Niall with the bowl of popcorn in his lap. 

I licked my lips and sat down next to Mackenzie, flicking the light off and pulling a blanket over the three of us. Niall, Mackenzie and I were used to spend the evenings in, although I was surprised why Niall wasn’t off with some chick. 

Halfway through the movie my phone vibrated and I looked down, not really paying attention to the letters in the bubble. 

But it was from Louis, so I did a double take.

From: Louis
Received at: 8:54pm

No

And then I had an incoming call from him. I stood up and mumbled that I had to take this, before I ran out of the room.

“Hello?”, I asked once I was outside, in her back garden.

“Hi. Where’s the question coming from?”, he asked through the phone. 

His voice was raspy as he spoke, almost afraid. I heard shuffling behind him and someone whispered something to him. He mumbled something then returned to my conversation.

“Uh…so why’d you ask?”

“Well…uh…I mean you stood up for her-somehow at school and a couple weeks ago you asked me if she was coming to the party and I was just curious. You know you can tell me anything.”

He was silent for a moment. “It’s just…I do like her.”

I knew it was something big he kept hidden for some time now, and I wanted to be happy for him, I did, but I couldn’t. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach: jealousy mixed with hatred and angst. 

Maybe because my chances of being with her were even smaller now. 



Niall

Harry left the room to go get some beer as I sat down on the couch after I put the DVD in. I turned to see Mackenzie picking at her nails. 

“Stop staring you freak.”, she mumbled. My hand landed on her knee. She tensed up and tried to push it away but I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. I couldn’t help myself, she had me wrapped around her little finger and she didn’t even know it. 

“Niall.”, she moaned when I pulled at her earlobe, feeling myself getting harder by the minute. 

I heard Harry’s footsteps down the hall and quickly jumped back, grabbing the popcorn bowl and placing it over my lap so my boner wouldn’t show. 

My heart was beating rapidly, and the fear of almost getting caught was awoken in me. This was dangerous. But it was a risk I was willing to take for her. 

Halfway through the movie, Harry got up and said that he had to take a call, before disappearing in the hallway. 

I saw Mackenzie shift away from me, uncomfortable by our sudden closeness. I moved towards her, so our sides would touch. She attempted to move again, but I caught her shoulders with my arm and pulled her towards my lips. Our lips touched and I continued kissing her. I knew she wanted to give in, so I cupped her face and deepened the kiss, not caring about anything or anyone.

She pushed me away and slapped me.

‘’You prick! Stop kissing me! I swear to god, if you’ll kiss me again, I will tell Harry!’’

‘’Can’t you see that I’m better for you?’’

‘’In what way? Tell me one thing you can give me and Harry can’t. Only one. Money? A stable future?’’

Love, I thought. But I wasn’t going to tell her that. Not yet, anyway.

‘’I could make you happy.’’

She snorted. ‘’Harry makes me happy.’’

‘’Don’t lie to yourself princess.’’

‘’Don’t call me princess. It’s pathetic coming from a guy like you.’’

‘’A guy like me?’’

‘’A guy that is actually the opposite of a prince.’’

Ouch.

‘’Why can’t you break up with him? I know I c-‘’

‘’Because you’re simply not worth it.’’

I bit the inside of my cheek and pulled back, setting my eyes on the TV. She had no idea how much those words meant to me. She had no idea what she just caused. I didn’t talk to her for the rest of the night, I tried to make her jealous instead by bragging to Harry about all the fun I had with Kelly or Kelsey or whatever her name was.

We were all sitting in the living room, not paying attention to the show that was now on the TV as we talked. Well, Harry and I talked, and Mackenzie was just leaning against his shoulder, hugging him. I was boiling inside but I wouldn’t show it. All I could do was sit back and break while she was ‘happy’ with someone else.



Liam

I was in my room, looking through my Facebook Newsfeed when I saw the post.

Rhya Darling is now single.

My heart did a backflip as I read the words again, and again. I liked the post, but held back from commenting anything, not until I called her at least.

I picked up my iPhone from the nightstand, tapping on the screen quickly to find her through my contacts. I clicked on her name and took the phone to my ear, before chewing on my bottom lip, anxious for her to answer.

‘’’He-llo?’’, she asked.

She was sobbing.

‘’What happened? Are you okay?’’, I asked sitting up straight in the bed.

‘’N-no. Liam t-there’s s-someone in the h-house.’’

I pushed my laptop aside and stood up from the bed and went to the dresser to get a pair of pants.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’My m-mom’s gone and I hear footsteps downs-stairs.’’, she whispered.

I secured my phone between my neck and shoulder as I slipped into my white converse and pulled a hoodie over myself. I rushed down the stairs, ignoring the shouts coming from the kitchen, the shouts I was used to anyway.

I jumped into my car and tried to calm her down as I sped down the road.

‘’Listen to me baby. Go hide somewhere. Anywhere. The closet, under the bed, anywhere.’’

I heard her shuffling and then she whispered:

‘’Done.’’

I bit my lip, staying on the line as I arrived in front of her house. The door was locked and there was no sign of breaking and entering. I went around the house, telling her to stay quiet. The backdoor was unlocked, but her dog Doodle was sleeping peacefully.

I entered the house, which was silent. No sign of someone being there unwanted. I checked every single room, and nothing. There was no one there. Was she pulling some kind of prank on me? Did she think this was funny?

I slowly went upstairs and checked all the rooms, before I went into her room.

‘’Rhya? Baby?’’, I said.

I saw her in the corner, hugging her legs to her chest and leaning her forehead against her knees. It broke my heart to see her like this.

‘’Rhya?’’, I gently asked, crouching down in front of her and lifting her head up by her chin.

Her brown eyes were wet and they expressed scare, angst…and madness.

‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’There’s someone inside-‘’

‘’I checked baby, there’s no one here.’’

‘’No! There IS someone! I saw them! He w-was there! He was there! I swear!’’

Where was Perrie?, I asked myself. She should’ve been here.

‘’Where is Perrie?’’, I asked her, brushing a stray of her hair behind her ear.

‘’She went out for a walk.’’

Then she started crying again. What was happening?

‘’Baby, shh. It’s okay. Why are you crying?’’, I asked taking her into my arms. She pushed me away and stood up.

‘’There is someone in the house! I can hear him.’’

I stood up and listened. It was pure silence. Was she on drugs?

‘’There’s no one-‘’

‘’He’s coming up the stairs Liam!’’

Then I realized what was going on. She was having a panic attack. My grandmother used to have one of those. She would imagine things and yell at nothing. I had no idea what to do in cases like this. But I was not going to leave Rhya. I needed to be here for her.

‘’There’s no one here baby. Shh.’’, I said wrapping my arms around her and pulling her head into my chest. She tried to escaped me, but I was stronger so I kept her in place.

‘’He’s coming up the stairs Liam! He’s-‘’

I squeezed her and tried to calm her down, but she couldn’t keep still.

‘’HE IS BEHIND YOU LIAM! He’s here.’’, she cried and my heart started beating faster. I spun around, but there was no one there.

‘’There’s no one there.’’, I said slowly as I looked down at her.

‘’He’s there! He’s coming towards me Liam. Help me.’’, she cried and I held her tight, resting my chin on the top of her head, squeezing my eyes shut, letting my tears spill. I was so scared seeing her like this. She had a mental disorder. And I didn’t know about that.

‘’Liam…help me.’’, she whispered into my chest, gripping into my shirt. She was shaking in my arms and kissed her hair, standing still.

‘’Shhhh baby it’ll be okay.’’, I whispered reassuringly. ‘’I promise. It will be okay.’’’

She slowly calmed down, heavily breathing against my shirt, which was now wet from her tears. My heart was beating fast as I let her go.

‘’Please stay here. I’m going to the bathroom to see if there’s any medication left.’’

She shook her head, not wanting to let me go, but I told her to stand still because the bathroom was a few feet away. She finally let go, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I hurried to her bathroom and rummaged through her drawers, her cupboards, basically everywhere.

I finally found the orange bottle that said “Antipsychotics”.

I opened it and saw that it was empty. The prescription on the outside said that it had to be refilled on January the 13th, which was yesterday, and it had to be consumed on a daily basis.

I fiddled with the bottle as I came out of the bathroom. She was cuddled up in the bed, hugging Riley close to her chest.

I sat down next to her and stroke her hair, making her turn towards me.

‘’Do you know where the prescription for the medication is? I can go and buy a refill for your medication baby.’’

She rubbed her eyes and sat up. ‘’Uh…it’s in my mom’s room…I don’t know. She has like a drawer in which she keeps the important papers.’’

I stood up and walked towards her mother’s bedroom. I entered and was surprised to see everything clean. I searched through the drawers and found nothing. The drawers were half empty, which was odd. It’s like she wanted to leave.

I opened her closet and was shocked to see it only had a couple more clothes in it. I looked under the bed and found an empty suitcase. I searched through it’s pockets and found a pile of papers. Just bills, bills, bills and Rhya’s prescription. I stuffed it in my pocket, but something else caught my eye.

It was a note.

I’m sorry for leaving honey, but I can’t raise you on my own. I wish your dad was here. Tell Perrie I’m sorry too, but you’re eighteen now so you can take care, right? There are two thousand pounds in the lasagne box in the cupboard. Please don’t be mad. Love, mom.

I clenched my jaw and looked at the date. It was written on the 10th of February, 2013. I frowned. It was written a month in advance. That’s when it hit me. She was planning on leaving her daughter.

I wasn’t going to let her leave. No way. I left all the things the way I found them and exited the room. That’s why almost all her clothes were missing. She was planning on leaving silently. She would take suitcases every time she went on a ‘business trip’, until there was nothing left behind. Rhya wouldn’t even notice, until she’ll find the note.

It would drive her crazy, I knew that.

‘’I’m going to the pharmacy.’’

She sat up and shook her head. ‘’I want to come with you.’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Please. Don’t leave me alone.’’

‘’Rhya-‘’

‘’I don’t want to be alone.’’

I sighed and nodded, giving in.

Ten minutes later we walked hand in hand through the 24h pharmacy’s doors. There was an fat man around his thirties at the counter, the rest of the store was empty. I went to the counter and slammed down the paper. The man looked at us and then down at the papers.

‘’And I suppose you’re Anastasia Darling?’’, he asked looking at me.

‘’What?’’

‘’To get this medication I need an ID and a signature from whoever signed the prescription.’’

‘’What?’’, I asked in disbelief.

‘’I’m sorry, I can’t give you the medication.’’

Rhya buried her head in my chest and I wrapped an arm around her frame.

‘’Please. She’s…she had a panic attack.’’, I said.

The man shrugged. ‘’Not my girlfriend, not my problem.’’

‘’Look at her man!’’, I whispered, my voice shaking. He couldn’t do this. ‘’Please. She needs it.’’

‘’I told you, I cannot give you the-‘’

I looked for some money in the back pocket of my jeans and found a fifty pound bill, which I placed on the counter. ‘’That should do it, right?’’

‘’I’m afraid not.’’, he mumbled. ‘’That’s the medication cost. If you want to bribe me, I’m afraid, I’ll need double. Or…she could suck me off.’’

I let go off Rhya and grabbed him by the collar, pulling his upper body over the counter. ‘’Give me the fucking medication now or I swear you’ll never be able get sucked off.’’, I hissed.

He gulped and I let him go, as he disappeared to bring us the medication.