As Long As You Love Me

Chapter 22

Hindi ko alam kung paanong nakauwi ako sa bahay. Tulala ako at parang lantang gulay na umupo sa gilid ng kama ko.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You are my world, my heart, my soul~

Muli ay naramdaman ko ang pagragasa ng luha ko. Hindi ako nag-abala pang punasan ang mga luhang pumatak mula sa mga mata ko. Napahilamos na lang ako sa mukha ko. Muling nagbalik sa ala-ala ko ang nangyari kanina.

“Paulit-ulit na lang syang nasasaktan nang dahil sa’yo. And this time I will not stand idly by”

“Tanging hangad ko lang ay ang kaligayahan ng anak ko! Hindi ganito! Sya na lang ‘yung meron ako Zack”

“Binabawi ko na sya sa’yo Zack”

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away
Everything good in my life
And tell me now~

I saw Lauren and I wedding picture beside my lamp shade. I get the picture and I can't help myself but to stare at it. She's smiling genuinely. Her smile is natural unlike mine na kung pagmamasdan mong mabuti ay makikita mong hindi totoo.

How do I live without you?
I want to know
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live~

There's no way to stop myself to cry. And there's nothing can change how regretful I am for leaving her behind while she needs me the most.

Without you
There would be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me~

I hug our picture together as the memory of our wedding day flash backs on my mind.

*Flashback*

Kung tutuusin ay pwede namang pumirma na lang kami ng marriage contract. So why do we need this celebration? Psh. Kaartehan.

Panay lang ang pagpapakawala ko ng mga pekeng ngiti sa mga taong bumabati ng 'congratulation' sa aming dalawa.

"Ang daming tao 'noh?" malamang! May 'engrandeng' kasalan kaya maraming tao.

Maya-maya pa ay muli syang bumaling sa'kin.

"Pagod ka na ba? Mauna ka na sa loob ako na lang dito" kalalaki kong tao pero napairap ako sa sinabi nya.

Sa palagay nya ano na lang iisipin ng mga tao kapag naunang magpahinga ang groom kesa sa bride. Hindi ba sya nag-iisip? Besides I know that Dad will be mad at me if that happens.

I hope this night will end soon.

*end of flash back*

That night is special to every bride pero mukhang ipinagkait ko sa kanya 'yun dahil ipinamumukha ko sa kanya na  ayoko ng nangyayari at napipilitan lang ako.

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live~

I hug the picture tightly na para bang si Lauren mismo ang kayakap ko.

Please tell me baby how do I go on

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you are
Everything good in my life~

Kakayanin ko pa ba? I'm so drown in love with her at hindi ko na alam kung kaya ko pa bang umahon sa aking pagkakalunod pero kahit kaya ko pang isalba ang sarili ko I would just prefer being drowned. I want to be in drowned as long as I'm with her.

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live~

And now the question is how do I live without her in my life? Makakaya ko bang mabuhay nang walang Lauren sa buhay ko? Tanging paghinga na lang yata ang magagawa ko para lang masabing nabubuhay ako other than that ay wala na.

How do I live without you?
How do I live without you, baby?
How do I live without you?

Now I'll make sure that I'm going to look for her no matter what and whatever it takes. I'm sure I'm going to write our love story having a happy ending.

Just wait for me Lauren. I'm going to look for you...

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