Where Were You in the Morning? (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Where Were You In the Morning? 13

Kinsley
I lost Shawn that whole night. I couldn't find where he went, which I'm not gonna lie bummed me out a little, but that's why I waited till the next day to go talk and just start over with him. I brought Matthew with me, and I couldn't tell if he got jealous of Shawn or not. I'm only saying that because I noticed he started to act a little different when Shawn was there, and plus he's engaged. There shouldn't be any interest in me to begin with, but sadly I have some interest in him.
I walked through the doors and it was a normal day for everyone. I took the elevator to the second floor and walked all the way down the hall where Shawn's recording room would be. As I was looking at the walls, I didn't realize how much of this place I didn't notice. There's so many awards, and so many platinum records. My dads work was inspiring, how could I have missed this. Instant guilt and sorrow rose in my body, but I'm tired of being so angry and blaming the rest of the world for what happened to me. I'm just tired of it. I walked to the last door on the right and heard a faint guitar sound and a little bit of words. I slight pushed the door open, and peaked my head through. Shawn was sitting on the red couch that was two feet away from the glass of the recording booth. He was picking his guitar and kept looking at what it seems to be his song book.
"Sunrise with you on my chest
No blinds in the place where I live
Daybreak open your eyes." He stopped sitting up straight. He patted on his guitar three times and picked a soft and gentle beat that my heart instantly fell in love with.
"Sunrise with you on my chest
No blinds in the place where I live." He stopped shaking his head.
"No not good enough." He whispered to himself. Seeing him in his element, and not caring about the rest of the world reminded me of how a human should work. They shouldn't care about the past or future, but rather in the now. It was only seconds till he lifted his head and met my eyes. I tried to pull back and close the door, but I was too late.
"Kinsley?" He placed his guitar down.
"Oh god, please please continue what you're doing Shawn. I was-"
"No it's okay. Come in." His smile at the end of the sentence was something I couldn't resist. I kicked the door open because my arm wasn't strong enough and limped my way to him.
"Now what did I do to receive such a surprise?" He stood up grabbing my right hand and helping me sit down.
"Thank you, and I was just looking and heard you playing." I replied.
"The song sounds really pretty Shawn." I cleared my throat actually meaning it.
"It's done not yet."
"Why don't you release the one you wrote yesterday? Fans would love it-"
"It's not the right one." He answered.
"What about this one?"
"I don't know yet." He ran his fingers through his hair.
"You really care on what you release huh?"
"It just has to be perfect." He sighed. From the few days we talked I could tell Shawn was a guy who really cared about what he was doing, and really cared about what others thought about people he cared for.
"So I really came in here because I just needed to ap-"
"Kinsley, it's okay." He interrupted me.
"No it's just-"
"No one can ever say they understand when they haven't been through what you've been through. I promise it's okay." He looked at me with deep sincerity. His brown eyes every girl goes crazy for was looking just at mine.
"I wish you could have met him." I told Shawn as he was quiet.
"He loved the way you matched pitch with you voice, and it wasn't just the singing he loved, it was the passion, and at first I couldn't see it, but now I do." I finished. I figure this moment was a time to make up for all the times where I talked so much with my feelings instead of logically. I want to make peace with people.
"Kinsley, what's wrong?" I paused wondering why did Shawn just ask me that.
"What?" I asked.
"What's wrong?" He asked again but instead emphasizing the question a little more.
"Nothing-"
"You haven't been nice to me since I've been here, and you're acting different, and don't get me wrong. I love how you are right now, but what's wrong?" My throat felt like I dried swallowed a pill. He wanted me to talk. He wanted me to open up, but I don't do that just for anyone. He's a fool to think I would right away.
"I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of sitting around and blaming the world for losing my dad." I looked down trying to fight the urge of crying.
"You know Kinsley your dad isn't gone." Shawn whispered.
"Yea. Yea he is." I quickly wiped a tear before it could fall onto my thigh.
"From the things I have experienced I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death." I lifted my head up not caring if my eyes were blood shot red.
"The people we lose continue to participate in every act, and decision we make. Their love leaves an incredible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing more of lives have been changed by sharing the lives they once lived." He smiled to himself as if he was thinking about a memory that didn't scar him, but changed him. What he told me helped me open my eyes a little, and for the first time I actually listened to someone who didn't care how I treated or acted towards them but take advantage and hear my call of pain.
"I'm sorry." I wiped a couple of tears from my cheek.
"Don't worry, at least you had someone who encouraged you to live your lifestyle. I kinda have mine basically planned for me." He looked away and at his guitar. I didn't want the mood to be dropped right after him actually cheering me up.
"Do you think you could show me how to play something?" He turned his towards me and the mental image of his eye lighting up the room wouldn't escape my mind.
"Really?" He asked.
"You only live once." I let out a small laugh.
"Here. Come here." He patted on the spot next to him on the couch, and I did the normal thing anyone would do. Sit up and take the opportunity.