Impact [Jax Teller//Sons Of Anarchy]

Chapter Seventeen

Horrified and scared would be two words to describe my reaction to the information I had processed. I was horrified to find out that all these years when I had thought my mother had simply opted out, she had actually been murdered. This formed new questions in my mind. I wanted to know who would do such a thing and then try to cover it up. Most importantly, I wanted to know why.

I was scared because I knew Barone held all the answers. If I interpreted the information of the file correctly, Rhodes had thought so too. Barone’s violent and aggressive nature had not gone unnoticed and yet he continued to work for the very institution that saw the problem in the first place? Did they believe he had changed or was he too good of an agent to let go?

The sad part was that I could probably never find out these things unless I faced him myself. I couldn’t image seeing him again. I didn’t exactly know what part he played in all of this and I knew I couldn’t trust him.

That’s why I hadn’t left my room in days. The phone hadn’t rung either, which made me even more anxious. Barone should have checked in on me already. This was why I went to Rhodes into the first place. I knew something was wrong.

I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. Oh God, Rhodes. All this time alone had left me to come to the realisation that his death might have been my fault. If he had gone around asking the wrong questions, it might have cost him his life. This made me want to throw up. Rhodes left behind his wife and two kids. Two children lost their father because I got myself into the deepest shit I had ever been in.
It was my fault.

Naturally, I spent the days worrying and crying. I tried to be the brave person I had been before, but things were getting too real and I was alone. It felt like I was just waiting for my turn to be exposed or murdered. I didn’t eat, I barely slept and I couldn’t shut my mind off for just a minute.

When two booming knocks came from the door I got startled. A thousand different scenarios were running through my mind and neither one of them had an outcome where I was still alive.

I slowly moved to retrieve the switchblade I had kept next to the bed since Linda left me that night. I flipped it open. I stood in the middle of the room. My heart was pounding and my breaths were short. I tried to ready myself for whatever would try to come through that door.

Two more loud knocks came.

“Quinn!” a man’s voice called from the other side. I couldn’t exactly make out who it was, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

“Let me try,” another voice said. “Quinn, it’s Jax. Opie is with me. We just wanted to check up on you.”

Opie was the man who Jax spent most of his time with. The other crows drooled over Opie just as much as they drooled over Jax. He wasn’t bad looking at all, but he was also big and a little scary.

The fact that Jax was on the other side of the door made no difference to me. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t know what he knew.

“Quinn, I know you’re in there. If you don’t open up I will kick this door down.”

I began panicking. They had guns and all I had was the blade in my hand. I was more than screwed.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered and quickly went to the door. They would get in here one way or another. Perhaps this way I would look less guilty.

“What?” I asked in my best annoyed voice when I opened the door with the chain still on.

“Are you going to open this thing or not?” Jax asked equally annoyed. Opie was standing close behind him.

I closed the door and took in a deep breath before undoing the chain.

Jax barged in and looked hard into my face. “You haven’t been to the club in days. Gemma told us to check in on you. I know you haven’t left this place in days and we really want to know what’s up.”

“Look, Jax, this isn’t a good time. A friend of mine just died and I’m still trying to process everything.”

“Jax,” Opie said. He had crept into the room as well and was standing hovering over the table by the window. He picked up the file I had left there after going over it for the hundredth time. Right on the cover it had Oakland Police Department sprawled out quite clearly with the badge and everything.

“Jesus Christ,” Jax said turning to me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the door.

“Jax, no,” I said. My eyes were stinging with tears. “It’s not like that. Please let me explain.”

“You can explain everything at the club,” Opie said as he closed the door behind us.