Him { JACHARY }

{I} {Inane}

- Zach -

'Why was I so stupid?' I ask. We're home. It's two in the morning. I don't want to sleep yet. I don't want to sleep right now. I can't sleep. Nina stayed with me. She removed her makeup and putted some comfortable clothes on. I also quickly put on other clothes. We gave the werewolf ears back to Christel. When I was changing clothes, Nina made some tea and poured it in. We are now in the living room. Dad, Kristin, Reese and Ryan apparently stay in some attraction park, leaving Nina, Jack and I alone for a few days at home. Nina tries to remove the makeup from my face. 'Why did i even trusted him?'

'He used his "charme",' Nina says. 'Ugh, I know i shouldn't leave you with him...' Nina sighs. 'I'm so sorry, Zach. It's all my fault..'

'Why is it your fault?' I ask. 'Of course is it not your fault! I shouldn't have come with him.'

'I shouldn't leave you with him,' Nina says. 'I think all the makeup is gone...' Nina throws the wimp into the trashcan and grabs my teacup. 'Here,' She gives me the cup. 'I want you to drink.'

'I don't need it, Nina,'

'No, you are going to drink!' Nina says immediately. She jumps up and looks at me. 'I want that you be healthy! You can say what you want, Zach, But you aren't healthy! That's a fact! You have to follow your scheme! I know that you want to be healthy, but then try it, Zach. Please try it! Do it for me! You know, if you don't want to be healthy, if you want your anorexia, then say it. Then I'll stop. Then I'll stop with all my preaches! then i'll stop! But you want to be healthy, right?' I nod. 'Then please follow your scheme! I will help you, okay? I will help you with anything! I-' The door slams. Nina looks at the front door. Jack runs into the living room. When he sees us, he runs immediately to his room. Nina and I saw both that's something wrong. 'JACK! WAIT!' Nina runs after him, to his room.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I have to run to him. I don't know if i have to run after him. I don't know if he would do it for me. But.. I promised him. I promised him to stay with him. But.. He betrayed me. What.. What should i do? I- I don't know.

I walk to my room. I walk to my desk and look to everything that lays there. I see a paper.
What did i wrote on it?
I grab the paper and look at it. I immediately know from when this was. This was the first time with my therapist.

'I am beautiful. I want to get better. Stay Strong.'

I read that. I read it repeatedly.

Beautiful...

better...

strong...

I grab a marker, open it and scratch through to some things; Beautiful, want to get better and Stay strong. In big letters I write under it;

'I am b̶e̶a̶u̶t̶i̶f̶u̶l̶ a fuck up!
I w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ Don't give a fuck about myself anymore.
S̶t̶a̶y̶ ̶S̶t̶r̶o̶n̶g̶ I GIVE UP!'

I look at the paper. I throw the marker down, grab the paper and crumble him into a gag. I throw it to the other side of my room and throw the marker behind it.

'Fuck my life..'

The next day I walk to the hallways of the school. Everyone looks at me. I have no idea why.

'Hey, Zach,' Daniel stands in front of me. He blocks the way to my locker. 'How are you?'

'Could be better..' I sigh. 'Daniel, why are you acting so weird? Can I go to my locker?'

'No,' Daniel says immediately. 'No, you can't.'

'And why not?' I ask. Daniel looks over his shoulder. 'Ugh, no jokes today, Daniel...' I sigh. I dive under his arm and walk to my locker.