Fairy Lights | jerza

Silver & Steel

The wheelchair wasn't bad at all- it was the staring and the sympathy. It was the walk (or roll) of shame that I felt as Gray pushed my chair out of the hospital and down the street to the inn.

I let my head droop, hiding behind the thick curtain of scarlet hair, not trusting myself to look at the staring passers-by without (crying) screaming. Lucy prattled on, discussing how we would enjoy our time at the inn while we could, while Natsu complained loudly about how he was a growing boy and Master never fed him well enough.

My wheelchair seems susceptible to every crack in the asphalt, and I feel myself sway uncomfortably during the short walk.

I had thought to be brave one must constantly take risks, but it turns out I was wrong all along.

There is no ramp leading up to the entrance of the inn; my friends all grab a corner of the chair and hoist me up the stairs. I want to scream, to cry, to disappear, but all I feel is an unceasing numbness- as if the pain medication never wore off.

Master is right- I am useless- for what is a spider with no legs?

"Jellal says he bought us dinner- it's waiting in our room. He won't be able to join us though," Lucy says, pocketing her cell phone.

"Nice!" Natsu crows, abandoning us and rushing toward the elevator.

"Cheer up," Gray encourages, poking my shoulder, "I'm sure there's a slice of cake waiting upstairs, just for you."

There isn't.

~ ~ ~

"Is it true the Titania's legs shattered?" 

Jellal admires the pink-haired girl's tenacity; the media may be having a heyday with the news of the fallen fairy, but the citizens of Fiore were not half as courageous. Instead, they whispered about it behind closed doors.

The Fairy Tail troupe had always been more of a hidden gem, but now it was out in the open- for the worse.

"Yes, Meredy, it is true," he tells the acrobat. Meredy casts a horrified glance to Ultear, her friend, and associate.

But she will be better. Soon.

Jellal allows himself to be alleviated by these words.

Crime Sorciere was once a large and famous troupe, known for their daring nerve and vigor; however, after a series of criminal activity brought about by various members of the troupe, the company dissipated. Only Ultear and Meredy remain, holding on to life by a thread.

"Oh, yes, I remember," Mirajane whispers softly. She is the eldest of the Strauss siblings, and one of the long-time members of the Thunder Legion ensemble. "Erza Scarlet, the fairy who uses no net."

 Jellal flinches.   

Mirajane's blue eyes are full of sorrow. "I apologize, Master Fernandes."

"I'd rather not be called master," he replies curtly.

~ ~ ~

Five ice creams later, we situate ourselves at the entrance of the train station where we wait for Ringmaster and the new members of the troupe. Natsu and Gray amuse themselves with the miniature arcade machine near the restrooms. Lucy fidgets with her yellow dress and Juvia stares blankly at the wall; I impatiently roll back and forth in my wheelchair. 

We hear the click-clack of his leather boots against the granite floor before we see him- and when we do, his eyes are shadowed by the brim of his top hat.

"Dramatic, much?" Lucy asks, raising her eyebrows. A few people watch from afar, mostly curious, a little judgmental.

I prop my elbow up on the armrest and scrutinize his circus clothing thoughtfully; Master never wears his hat and coat unless he's about to give a performance. Sure enough, two groups snake their way out from the crowd of train travelers and gather behind him.

Juvia's eyes are wide. "What's this? Are you replacing Juvia and her friends?" she asks with utmost seriousness. 

The new members of the troupe are not new to the entertainment business. With muscular arms and lithe bodies, I can tell they have been working with hoops and poles for their entire lives. I take a liking to them immediately- but then a certain blonde-haired man makes himself seen.

Gray and Natsu stand up in unison, eyes blazing with a hatred only found in the deepest pits of hell. "LAXUS."

"Damn, you don't have to be so loud," Laxus mumbles. It's a brave and stupid thing to do.

"Jellal, why in the world did you let this piece of shit join?" shrieks Natsu. More heads turn in our direction. "He disowned us back when his gramps was ringmaster!"

The dark-haired woman standing directly behind Jellal smirks. "Guess the welcoming performance you had in mind is canceled?"

"Well, Ultear, as you and I are both beginning to realize, the Fairy Tail troupe seems to have a long, complicated history," Ringmaster says solemnly, taking his hat off and tucking it under his arm in a single sweeping gesture. 

~ ~ ~

We are Fairy Tail. The three white-haired Strauss siblings, along with the traitorous Laxus, Freed, and Bixlow (who has a very interesting tattoo on his tongue) appear to make up the Thunder Legion troupe. Dark-haired Ultear and youthful Meredy are the only remains of the former Crime Sorciere troupe. We are so different, how can Master expect us to combine?

Laxus, Natsu, and Gray had bickered for a third of the right: ("I had every right to leave." "Yeah, but you left us in ruination!") Lucy and Juvia were equally infuriated, the only difference being they were more civil in their treatment of Laxus; the silent treatment.

"You're the Titania?" Mirajane asks, startling me: I had thought she was sleeping.

"I..."

Was.

I can't bring myself to answer, and such a simple question at that.

"You know, Erza, Jellal told me about how...vivacious you are- stubborn, yet kind-hearted.

Ultear twists a lock of black hair around her finger. "Just because you've lost your legs doesn't mean you've lost your life."

"Being in the circus was my life- and I was in the circus because of my legs," I whisper. Some truths are not meant to be told.

"No, no," the girl says, voice filled with pity. "That's like saying Jellal's a ringmaster because of his voice, or Natsu's a fire eater because of his mouth. It's the talent, the mindset of doing the impossible that makes you part of the circus."

I didn't fully understand, but her soothing words made me feel a bit better. 

"I'm a fortune teller. Want to know something I always tell my clients before they leave my boutique?" She leans forward and whispers, "The future is never set in stone."