The Side-effect of Dying
(My HIV Story)
One of the hardest things about being a PLHIV is the devotion of your abundant free time to thinking about death. Everytime you close your eyes, you hear voices that you don’t want to hear. Darkness becomes your best friend because you are scared of stepping out, knowing that the world is full of judgment. The pain within you is getting stronger every single day.
Gusto mong maniwala na magiging maayos ang lahat, pero ang hirap paniwalaan. May mga araw na gusto mo nalang maglaho dahil hindi mo alam kung paano mo sasabihin sa mga taong mahal mo ang pinagdadaanan mo. Plus the fact na parang pakiramdam mo wala nang magmamahal sayo at hindi ka na capable of building a lasting relationship. Getting into a relationship without HIV is hard, and getting into a relationship with HIV adds more to its complexity. So paano na?
The society’s lack of education about HIV is another thing that makes depression even worse. Many of us are unwilling to undergo the screening not because we are denial, but because we are scared of the possibilities that will happen after. We fear to be rejected and to be neglected.
Every PLHIV deserves to be treated like no other. We belong to the society and we deserve to live in a world free from prejudice. We deserve to be loved and to be respected beyond labels. Just like everyone else, we have learned lessons from our pasts.
What I want every person living with HIV to know is there is hope. I am a living proof that love and respect still exist even if you have the virus. I am loved and respected by the people around me regardless of my health status. In fact, someone took the courage to love me unconditionally. I am given another chance to prove myself that I can be better. I am able to make my family and friends proud by being an inspiration to others who are going through something difficult. If I can be strong to fight these trials, so can you to overcome depression and anxiety.
One day you’ll realize that the best thing about having HIV is the devotion of your abundant free time to thinking about achieving goals and doing things at your best. Every time you will close your eyes, you’ll hear voices that you’ve always wanted to hear. Stand up and believe that you have HIV, but HIV will never have you.
YOU ARE READING
BLOOD BROTHERS (BOYXBOY)
Short StoryWhat is HIV? What is AIDS? HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is a virus that attacks the immune system, the body's natural defense system. Without a strong immune system, the body has trouble fighting off disease. Both the virus and the infection i...
