BLOOD BROTHERS (BOYXBOY)

HUAN

I am Huan, 27 years old, HIV positive & undetectable. This simple message goes to the newly diagnosed who felt that they are trapped behind the great wall of hopelessness, fear, doubts, confusion and countered as if it’s already the end of the world. No, it’s not. Trust me, when you are on your 2nd or more years, you will be surprised upon your realization that you wasted so much time dwelling on the questions of “but’s” “why me” and “what if’s” as you move along the so called Poz journey. When you still don’t know the answer to your own questions, step your one foot forward and move on.

Few weeks from now, I will be celebrating or should I say remembering my sixth (6th) year anniversary from the time I knew that I am HIV positive. Yes, you heard it right… I managed to survive for six long years and embraced the new world full of hopes, excitement and zest on what this poz life should bring. There's no dispute that I’ve learned a lesson, but I don’t have the right to inflict any form of punishment upon myself, such as depriving myself on things that make me happy which will definitely lead my life more miserable and pitiful. Through the years, I’ve met several people who are instrumental to make a change, indeed visible and with us through this journey such as Tita Elena Felix, and all others who are exceptional to their advocacy. These people are with us to stand as an exception, who will disprove your negative thoughts about HIV. I was once like you who has lots of fears and anxiety; fear of incurring financial losses, fear of being immunocompromised, and fear of rejection thinking that people around you will discriminate or treat you unfairly when they find out your status. So on a different note, I understand where you are coming from but let’s get practical and realistic that nothing happens if you don’t fight and stand again.

Speaking from my humble experiences, the Poz life is not an easy road, it was tough yet full of surprises. You get to meet new friends who are in the same journey, slowly tend to appreciate life more than before, and most of all I learned that life does not end after knowing your status. Never ever think that you are less of a person nor have lesser life span than others. I promise, more than half of the population has more severe and critical problems than you encounter daily. Cry when you need to cry, laugh when you need to laugh and reach out others when able. You are still a person; a loving brother, a generous neighbor, a kind friend, a hardworking employee, responsible citizen and our status will not diminish nor depreciate our value as a human being. I am still me, and you are still you. Don't overthink, nothing extreme or drastic change will happen to our routines except of taking our daily dose of ARV’s. Nevertheless, adherence to your ARV’s is important, when its already part of your practice, everything will run smoothly and you’re back to the game.

My fellow Poz brothers, I encourage you to manage your HIV-related effects such as depression, let not allow HIV control us. Never doubt about the power you possess in your mind, hence practice the principle of mind over matter. Lastly, I hope you agree with me that a power plant doesn’t have energy, it generates energy. In similar way, we don’t have happiness, fear or sadness, we generate them. So please take control of yourself and most of all never forget to ask for divine providence.  You are still you my dear friend, and my humble advice is you take the choice to live your life again. Your dreams are still intact, go out and reach them.

You may say that all these things I’ve mentioned are easier said than done. No, not at all. Giving up shouldn’t be an option, at all cost!

Love,
Huan
Treatment Hub: RITM Alabang
HIV Poz since September 2011