"dear friend,"
#10 in poetry 7/8/18
#1 in straykidsfanfiction 7/14/18
#10 in minsung 7/20/18
#17 in letters 8/1/18
#18 in poems 5/15/19
#5 in poem 5/22/19
1k: 7/9/18
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dear jisung, i don't know where you are but i'm leaving today. i won't say sorry anymore but i just want you to know that i still care about you. and that i forgive you. and you'll always be my world. i was admitted four months after you left. my father was upset with me. not only because i was gay, but because i was dating you, a "criminal." he used to beat me, said he'd beat the gay and the devil out if he tried hard enough. he used to tell me i was pathetic, and that'd i get no where without a good wife. one day he held a pot, he told me it had holy water in it and that's he prayed over it and it would wash me clean. he poured scalding hot water down my back. and that's the day i gave up. that's the day i lost all faith in you coming back. i didn't know exactly where you were so i thought 'maybe i'll find out' or 'maybe he gave up too,' or 'maybe he gave up on me like everyone else.' i had seungmin but he wasn't the same. he couldn't calm my storm of tears and he didn't know half of the story. half of the abuse, half of the pain, half of the feeling of the defeat. please remember i love you jisung, wherever you may be.
