Her

16 | Life's bullshit

JENNIE

I want to end everything.

This thought happens too frequently in my head and it's not even healthy. I should stop thinking about ending my life at any moment because it will mean that I'm too weak to face my responsabilities.

I'm not weak, and I would never be in this state.

Suicide is for cowards. The ones that just give up. I'm not one of them, they have nothing except loneliness while I have everything. The looks and the whole package of flawless that goes with that. However, it doesn't mean I am happy either. Maybe my happiness will come later when I'll get older and have children. It would be a disaster if I'm not happy at the age of eighty. While growing up, I would always see myself with a big mansion and a model as my husband. If my dream doesn't come true, what's the point of living then ? Chaeyoung heard my desire, and she told that I'm too picky. Perhaps, she's right.

The truth is, I'm scared of what will happen next. Everyone is afraid of their future. But I am more concerned of my choice. Will I marry someone I love ? I don't think I will love someone till I die. People are boring. Even if my future husband is the most beautiful human on earth. Love is something that I always dreamt of, but is kind of something utopian. That is to say, unrealistic

"Another," I say in a weak tone, but loud enough to catch the attention of the bartender.

"In a sec !"

I sigh and a glass slides in front of me. I should stop drinking and go home. Chaeyoung and Jisoo must be worried about me, especially the girl who looks like a chipmunk. We fought this afternoon because I insulted Lisa. Well, I criticize the blonde girl every day but this time, it was different. Chaeyoung choose to defend her so-called best friend by making me look bad in this story.

I didn't like it.

So, we had an argument for at least ten minutes until I left the dormitory. Then, I received a call from my mom telling me that my grandma died.

And here I am, getting drunk in a bar.

The liquor burned my throat but I don't give a single fuck about it. I'm not weak, but sometimes, I'm so tired of this life, I just want to sleep and never wake up. Is it bad to think that way ?

"Hey, princess. Why are you alone ?" a tall man asks me and sits beside me.

I don't like to be disturbed when I drink. He smiles at me while I glare at him back. What does he want ? He seems to be older than me by several years and I don't like his fashion style. Those jeans is not in harmony with his blue jacket.

"Better alone than in bad compagny." I shrug.

He chuckles slowly and I frown. If he wants to make me look like I'm a funny person to seduce me, his plan has failed. Even if I feel like I'm a little bit drunk because I can't see clearly and my ears are heated, I can still guess his intentions. And, oh boy, he wants me in his pants.

"Can you move aside ? I'm not fully drunk, Don Juan. You should've come later when I'll be less sober."

His smile disapears and I give him a devilish smirk. What a stupid random guy. It's a fact that I drank a little too much, but even if I'm intoxicated, I still have high standards and this guy is too old to have a kiss from me.

"C'mon ! I like you a lot." he leans his back towards me.

When his cold and damp hand lands on my thigh, I shudder at his touch and dart my eyes on him. A small grin is now plastered on his thin lips. He cuts my breath when his face is a few inches from me, and his hand tightens its grip.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me."

He laughs and that sound made me even angrier. I hate when people makes fun of me when I'm clearly mad. Lisa is the only human I know who loves to do that to me, and I want to punch her doll face every single day.

"Bossy, huh ? I like it."

"Stay away from her or I'll call the police." a voice comes out of nowhere.

The hand on my thigh goes away in a instant, and I turn my head to see my saviour. Thank God, she's here.

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