My Ghetto Love

Chapter 39.

*

'Jayda? You hungry?' My dad called from downstairs. I hadn't gone to school today as I wasn't ready yet, and I had barely eaten all day.

'A bit.' I reply. I wasn't one of those people who stopped eating through depressing times, I love food too much.

'McDonalds run?' He asks.

'Yeah!' Jayden shouts.

'Do you wanna come Jayda?' My dad asks, emerging at my door. I shake my head. He sighs and nods.

'Can I have a grilled chicken wrap, with mayo and chips and coke?' I ask.

'Alright princess.' He pecks my forehead quickly before descending down the stairs.

'Wait for me dad!' Jayden shouts. He comes into my room and throws me a large packet of skittles and a big bar of Galaxy before running after my dad. I smile as I mentally thank him.

When my parents got home yesterday, Dontae told my mum about my latest nightmare and she took me straight to my old counsellour. My mum demanded I was seen right then and as soon as my doctor realised it was me, I ended up having a 3 hour session. I'm not gonna lie, it helped so much.

She gave me pills to help me sleep, then we discussed my nightmares. She found out there was a recurring pattern, in each one Dani was blaming me for her death. The counsellour, Dr Vyginskitah, said I was blaming myself for Dani's death and I need regular sessions to help me deal with this.

She also helped me to deal with the issue of males touching me. I had to tell myself that they weren't gonna hurt me. It didn't take long for me to realise this, and I realised my family weren't gonna hurt me. After that one session I felt so much better.

I also had a regular 1 hour session today, and I could already witness the change. I had another session next week Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. They would gradually decrease when I would need to stop taking the pills.

'Jayda!' My mum calls me. I go downstairs.

'Yeah mum?'

'I think it's time I told you.' She sighs looking concerned. I sat down next to her.

'Tell me what?' I ask wearily.

'Okay, a couple of months ago we got a letter saying J-Jun...that he had attempted suicide.' My mum says. My mum could never bring herself to say his name. My body stilled as I nod, emotionless. 'A month ago, we got another letter from the prison. He committed suicide in his cell.' She says almost inaudibly. I stare at her, as her words sunk in. I hid whatever emotions I was feeling as I realise she knew this for a month and didn't tell me.

'Before he...he left two letters. One for his mum, and one for you. You don't have to read it but I'm going to give it to you. It's your choice what you do.' She says. She picks up the letter on the coffee table and hands it to me.

'When did you get the first letter?' I ask after 10 minutes of silence.

'Around October.' My mum answers. I nod as I add things up in my head. That was 9 months ago. So I'm guessing Junior's brother got the letter about his brother's attempted suicide and began stalking me, to get revenge or something.

'And, he killed himself last month?' My mum nods. Without another word, I stand up and go to my room.

Was it bad that I didn't feel anything? I didn't even feel sympathetic for his parents. He was dead, and I didn't care. Although I didn't feel remorseful or sympathetic, I felt angry. He had basically been let off. In prison, he had to live everyday with the fact that he had killed his littler sister. That was enough punishment in my case but now, he didn't have to. At least he's going to hell.