Chapter 29

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Victoria

A month and a half later, I found myself doing better than I ever imagined. Teddy had been making this one of the best summer's, despite his condition and my diagnosis. He promised me a great summer and now we're living it. Everyday we're at the YMCA volunteering our time to children less fortunate and during the night is when we really have fun.

We don't drink or smoke like a lot of the kids our age, we're different. We always find something for ourselves to do every single week but it always differs. One night we'll go to the amusement park that in town, another night we'll stay in and watch movies in our theater, another night we'll go to the beach or we'll even hang out with the group. But nothing like we had been getting ourselves involved with a couple of months ago.

I can't say that I've completely turned around but I'm working on it. Now that the counselors' got me on this medicine, I can clearly focus. I don't have anymore suicidal thoughts and it feels better to know that I've got somebody to talk to, who won't judge me. She counsels me through the right paths I should take and I've really grown to appreciate Ms. Emma for that. And for the sessions with Shyla, things are always pretty intense. We've learned some things about each other, and learned to accept each other's flaws. Well, at least I have.

I know fighting her was wrong but it was just a spur of the moment type thing. My feelings and emotions had been running crazy those past few days and I couldn't think of anything else to do but fight her. I know she'll never forget, and most likely will never forgive but I've forgiven her and what she did to me. I know she claims that I killed her baby but I know I didn't. The baby never survived once the middle of July hit, like we all expected.

Teddy had stepped up to take care of the baby and everything but it was just too late. He kne, like we all did, that the baby wasn't going to survive. Shyla had been infected too long to carry a baby, that's why it died and that's why no treatment will work for her. Still, Theodore felt bad and gave her money, but it was no use. She couldn't get help, and she envy's me for that.

As for my relationship with my Mother, it could be better but we're working on it. It took time for us to grow apart, so it's going to take time for us to patch up our rocky relationship. I no longer lash out against her, I take my anger out in the gym. I guess I'm into boxing now. Not anything good, but something just to keep my mind off of everything and blow off a little steam. 

Daddy taught me how to box and has coached me all of this time. He suggested I do it to keep my anger from driving me insane. Mama always laughs when she sees me, Daddy and Deonte down in the basement boxing but she knows it helps us. She claims all of our anger and quick tempers stem from Daddy but I know she's just as bad. Whatever it is, I'm getting the help for it I should have gotten years ago.

It was now nearing the middle of August and we were soon to be back in school once September hit. Mama hasn't made her decision about sending me back to Westwood or keeping me at Compton yet, but I hope she lets me stay. All of my friends are at Compton, and it wouldn't be right to transfer me back to Westwood during my Senior year. She should just let me finish out at Compton.

"Come on! Lift those legs ladies!" I yelled to the girls in the pool.

Theodore and I were still putting most of our time towards the pools here at the Y but this is the fun part. Now, we're teaching the water aerobics classes which is extremely fun. I get the right side of the pool, with the girls, and Theodore gets the left side of the pool, with the boys.

I had never heard of water aerobics until I got here but it's fun. It's basically like regular aerobics, the only difference is that you're in shallow water and learning about resistance. This is also a form of resistance training for the water but right now we were doing our Aqua Jog's to warm ourselves up for the rest of the class.

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