Chapter 13 Ocean eyes - Billie Eilish

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Taylor's POV:

I left her apartment in devastation, she just shoved my feelings back into my face. I'm used to being lonely but that doesn't mean I like it.

I walked home in the pouring rain,not caring if my hair gets drenched or if I get sick. I unlocked my door,undressed and left my wet clothes by the door and walked over to my bed, not bothering to even put on my lights.

As I softly sobbed my sober self to sleep, my mind turned into a dark, unforgiving place. It was filled with rage, sorrow and pain and I felt like nothing could cure it, not even the usual alcoholic beverage.

The sun rays woke me up and I was just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling empty. Having memories suddenly come forth in my mind of her blue eyes just focusing on my skin.

I knew she was trouble from the start, all straight girls are, but I was hoping she wouldn't be. My feelings that I admitted to her in a drunken stupor were real and she just didn't care.

Work was still waiting for me and it was already 8am and I had to be there by 10 am. So a quick shower and dress up was in order.

As the water slowly flowed down my back, it felt like the very essence of my being was flowing away, it felt pathetic and I just didn't have any energy to fight for it.

I dried off,got dressed and went to work,being more ruthless with the clients than usual. Some of them liked it,others not, they were calling me sadistic,yet they were the ones coming here in the first place.

I was tired after my day but stuck around in the lounge, just checking out some girls. I usually have a habit of picking the straight ones and it irritated me so much.

My heart was still crippled by Karlie and I wasn't even doing anything about it because to be honest, I had given up on the whole situation.

I searched the crowds for blue eyes but none compared to hers.

I went home, curling up on the sofa and watched some series, it being the first time in months. I was just so glad that I still had a job and that Karlie decided against buying the club, I wouldn't be able to face her if she was my boss.

I ordered some pizza, KFC and some salads and just ate, I felt like I was becoming a stress and emotional eater but I didn't care, especially not when I gobbled down a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

My night ended with a nice hot bath and some wine,while listening to some music. I went to bed around 1am and my dreams were a mess,drifting between the topic of love and drowning. When I woke up, I felt like a mess and I knew that this wasn't going to get better.

AN: I know this took a bit of a dark turn but I still have a few songs to go through for this book,so trust me,all happy endings will come.

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