August rain | myg ✔

s e v e n

The appointment ended, and soon after Yoongi was reaching the porch of the blue house he knew too well. He stuffed his key into the keyhole and slammed the door open. He didn't care that he was making too much noise, he didn't care that he might break the door, he didn't care about anything, he was too furious.

Stumbling into the entry of his parents' house, he didn't lose a single second. 

"Mom!" He shouted. 

He took of his shoes hastily and didn't bother catching his breath before yelling again. "MOM!"

His mom appeared in the doorway leading to the kitchen. "Yoongi? What's going on?" She approached him warily, because she could see how angry and hurt he was, and she had no idea why.

"What the fuck, Mom?" He shouted, causing her eyebrows to raise.

"Yoongi, don't swear. I don't- " she started, confused, but was cut off by her son.

"Why didn't you tell her, Mom? What the fuck, why wouldn't you tell her?" Tears were slowly forming in his eyes, but he ignored them as he continued to shout.

"Tell who what? Yoongi, what- " 

But he didn't let her finish. He exploded. 

"I had to say it! Fuck, I had to say it, mom, because you didn't tell her. So I had to say it! I had to tell the doctor that Catalina was dead! What the fuck, mom, why didn't you tell her? You made me say it! I never wanted to say it!" His arms were everywhere as he yelled, and tears were filling his eyes, so much he couldn't see her clearly anymore. 

"What? Yoongi, why wouldn't you say it? I -"

He was too hurt, too angry to listen to anything she would say.

"Cause now it's real!" He was still shouting, yet his voice was broken. "Now Catalina is dead and it's real! Fuck, Mom, why couldn't you tell her, so that I wouldn't have to?" 

A sob escaped him, but he didn't let it stop his anger from being released.

"I had to say that she was dead, and it's real, and I can't avoid it anymore. You had me say it, that she's dead and that she'll never be back and I'll never see her anymore, because she's dead, and I can't..." 

He was angrily rambling now, sobs escaping him painfully as he kept yelling.

"Yoongi -" His mom's voice was still calm, but he didn't hear it, he was too focused on his own pain. His pain that took over his soul and had him bleeding from the inside.

"Fuck." Another sob came, and he wasn't strong enough to hold himself against it. 

He crashed down on the floor, tears falling from his eyes at an alarming rate, his whole face torn and hurt. He sobbed, wrapping his arms around himself, as he always did. But this time, it didn't help keep himself together, it just made him feel even more alone. Because in a perfect world, it would be Catalina's arms around him, not his own. But now he only had his, because she was gone forever.

Another sob shook him.

He felt another pair of arms wrap themselves around him and squeeze. He breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of his mother that was somehow the same as it as always been, ever since he could remember.

"She... she's dead," he brokenly whispered, because this time he couldn't deny it anymore. His mom squeezed him harder, and he let himself lay against her as his sobs shook the both of them back and forth.

His tears were wetting his shirt and hers, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered now that she was dead. 

His mom put a hand on his hair, patting it slowly as he cried in her arms. 

"I know, baby, I know," she whispered in his ear, getting another painful sob in return. 

The succeeding sobs only seem to grow in intensity, and he parted his lips. "I -" he started, but never finished his thoughts because his cries stopped him from speaking.

He sobbed for a few minutes, his mom still holding him close. But water was filling his eyes so much, he had to part them so the tears could fall.

It was then that he noticed that they weren't alone in the hallway. Jungkook was standing in the stairs, eyes wide as he stared at his only brother crying painfully on the floor. Their eyes met, yet none of them reacted. Yoongi's empty eyes just stared at Jungkook's wide ones as another sob escaped him.

Yoongi closed his eyes again, because he didn't want to see his brother's reaction to his breakdown. The last thing he needed was Jungkook witnessing how just fucking broken his was. 

He felt his mom shift, one of her arm momentarily leaving him but returning a few seconds later. And when he opened his eyes again a few minutes later, Jungkook wasn't in the stairs anymore.

A stronger sob took over him, and he buried his face in his mom's neck as she held him even tighter. 

They stayed there for what felt like forever, him crying painfully and her holding him close. And when he was finally strong enough to get up from the cold floor of the hallway, it was dark out. She led him to his bedroom, slowly laying him down on his bed and tucking him in like she did when he was little. It was the same room, the same bed, the same covers, the same scared little boy who needed his mom without really wanting to.

He shivered, even though it was warm in the room.

"Go to sleep, baby," his mom whispered, her warm hands rubbing him softly. 

He slowly closed his eyes, letting the darkness consume him. And at that moment, all he could see was the rest of his life being spent that way, in darkness.