August rain | myg ✔

f i v e

His room was the only place where he was alone but didn't feel lonely. Maybe because it was the place he used to be alone in before he knew her. Staying in his room at his parents' house somehow made him feel like it all all been a dream. Meeting her, falling in love with her, moving in with her, loving her, losing her: when he was back in his room, he could pretend like all of it had never happened. 

He could never pretend for too long, of course. He'd stare at his old basketball trophies from high school, reminding him of how he used to love playing it. But then he was remembered of that time they had gone to a basketball game, and he had to spent the whole game explaining the point system to her. He'd smile at the memory, before remembering that it was just that, a memory. A happy one for sure, but one that would never be repeated and that now hurt when he was reminded of it. 

He hated these memories, memories from the happiest moments of his life, memories that he used to smile at. Now they all lived in his mind and  were stuck there, and he wished he could forget them, but he couldn't. They haunted him and made him feel like they'd always be tainted by the pain and the fact that she wasn't there anymore. Like no matter where he went and what he did, all he would be able to see were those beautiful, painful memories, for the rest of his life.

He turned on his bed so he could lay on his side and stare at the window. It was sunny outside, the leaves slowly balancing to the wind, making it seem all so peaceful. 

It made him wonder if he would ever feel peaceful again. He used to feel so at peace with himself, but that hadn't happened since she had gone. Now he just felt so tormented, so freaking destroyed, all the time. 

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Yoongi?" 

He recognized his younger brother's voice. He didn't move. 

A few seconds later, another knock.

"Yoongi? Can I come in?" 

He shifted so he laid on his back again, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah." He grumbled. He didn't really want to be bothered by his brother right now, but he also knew that Jungkook could be really annoying when he wanted to. 

The door opened and Jungkook made his way into the room, quickly glancing at his brother laying on the bed and then sitting down on the desk chair. 

"What's up?" He smiled. 

Only Jungkook could smile and ask him what was up when everyone knew he was broken inside. But the boy was 18 and had just started college and was simply clueless to the world around him.

Yoongi didn't bother answering, rather he kept staring at the ceiling. Jungkook didn't let it deter him.

"Namjoon's throwing a party tonight, wanna come?" He grinned excitedly. Namjoon was his best friend and the party he threw were usually wild. "There'll be lots of hot chicks." Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows, his bunny smile on full display.

Yoongi blinked. Had Jungkook forgotten who he was talking to? But still Yoongi didn't bother moving. Eventually, Jungkook would get the message that he wasn't welcome in his room.

"You should come. Maybe you'll meet a girl and she'll make you come." 

Ew. When had Jungkook turned into such a disgustingly horny teenager?

Yoongi frowned, his face expressing nothing but disgust. He stood up from his bed. Making his way to the door, he pulled it wide open and motioned at Jungkook.

"Get out."

Jungkook pouted. 

"But Yoongi, it will be a fun party and everyone- " The younger protested.

"Get out." Yoongi cut him off, not caring that he was rude.

Jungkook pouted even more, but still he stood up from the chair and made his way to the door, crossing his arms on his chest angrily. Yoongi didn't move as Jungkook made his way outside of the room and into the hallway.

The moment he stepped outside, Yoongi slammed the door in Jungkook's confused face, and turned around to lay on his bed again. 

He sighed. In relief or in annoyance, he wasn't sure. 

As he laid there, he couldn't help but think of how it would have been if she was there. He'd bury his face in her neck, taking in her scents and kissing her soft skin as she'd scold him about being nicer to his brother. And as always, she would have been right, and he would have apologized to Jungkook a while later. But now she wasn't here, and he couldn't bury his face in her neck and take in her smell, and who would make him apologize to Jungkook? 

So he was back to being alone with his thoughts, but now that his thoughts included her, he felt not only alone, but lonely, too. And he knew that wasn't about to change anytime soon.

__________

A/N - That's right, Jungkook is here to brighten this story! I apologize for the delayed chapter, I was busy writing the next one. And boy do I have something coming for y'all! Please stock up on tissues in preparation <3 Unless you have a heart made of stone, in which case, same.