Author: notliketheflower
Plot or Cover/Blurb:
I don't mind the cover, it is crisp and the font and size of the font is good. It does make me wonder a little bit how it relates to the book, but at the same time I'm not mad at it. So in other words only change it if you find something wonderful. If not this cover works fine.
The blurb is fine for me, you don't give away the story and you don't ramble on forever. It doesn't get me super hyped to read the story but I generally just skim blurbs anyways so that isn't a big deal.
4/5
Grammar:
I didn't notice any major grammar mistakes which is good, and you used your dialogue grammar correctly which is also good, especially because there was a lot of talking.
4/5
Descriptions:
You don't describe a ton of things, but what you do describe is good enough. You have a decent balance, though I wouldn't mind more descriptions just to describe the scene a bit more thoroughly, but I also wasn't left in the dark.
3/5
Characters:
The MC isn't horrible, his personality is there and I think it is vibrant enough. But at the same time I feel like you could give me a little more. Not a ton because he is pretty well put together but I feel like you could possibly make his character even better to read about.
4/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
End of the first paragraph: "...and I wonder how often he has to wash them to keep them away."
I feel like you can understand the issue here, the them is super vague in both places. And you were just talking about the white carpet, which you used in a singular manner, so it would be best to change the first them to it, and then the second them to the stains or something along those lines. That would make everything more clear and easier to read.
Again, the second paragraph you use them, you need to be more specific.
I know this might sound annoying, but I really suggest that you put some kind of trigger warning (and specify referencing self-harm and suicide) under your blurb. Even though I'm literally reading the first chapter, and even if that is all that is it in it I really really suggest putting a trigger warning. A lot of people can be very sensitive to even the mention of self-harm and scars and the same can go for suicide. It might sound crazy but even the mention is enough to create some bad thoughts. Just consider it?
Your writing isn't bad, there are some occasionally sketchy parts but that is to be expected with a rough draft. I am going to stop at the end of the first chapter, for personal reasons and nothing to do with your writing.
3/5
Overall:
The writing in this book is pretty good, I didn't read enough to get a good understanding of the story line, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Good job.
Final Score:
18/25
