Author: Mistress_Mitsukai
Plot:
I like your plot. Even though I have issues with this very first chapter (I talk about it below), I think your story is interesting. I do want to read more even though I'm only reviewing the first chapter. I think it's unique, or at least that how it comes across.
3/5
Grammar:
Yes! Cudos to you this is really good, you basically nailed everything. I wasn't looking at it too critically, but, save for some borderline long sentences you did really well!
5/5
Descriptions:
There really weren't any true true ones, seems how it was a introduction, instead of telling the story. But, I feel in my bones that you are capable at descriptions from the little snippet of the main character.
3/5
Characters:
I can't really say much, but I'm going to dock you points, for the main character descriptions and spewed life story (I talk about that right below this). Even with that, I also have a feeling that you know how to write a character, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here.
3/5
Anything Else I Want To Take Points Off For:
It was boring. I felt as if I was reading a long-winded, scientific article or something. Or, at the very least a prologue disguised as a first chapter, then stretched out for eons. I admit, I read about half-ish, and then skimmed the rest, because I could not take it any longer. It wasn't bad, as in you had me hooked, but you dragged it on for way too long.
First thing, is describing the character all the way. Like full on age, skin tone, hair to the length, all in one place. I hate that with all of my being. And you basically included her life story in one spot. Ugh. Don't do that, pretty please, anyways, I feel like you can do a lot better than that.
3/5
Overall:
Don't pay too much attention to my actual scores. This book is well-written and good, I'm just a little salty about the things that I pointed out. Fix them, and I'll love this book even more.
Final Score:
17/25
