I can't understand. Wasn't I enough for him? Didn't I love him enough? Did he ever love me enough? Maybe not if he left me just like that after 2 years of relationship.
I hate him but at the same time I don't. I checked my social media and the first Instagram post I saw was his. ______________________________________
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YooKihyun my one and only @shownuuuu 💗
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His love of his life. I guess I was nothing to him. Another day in the university trying to avoid him and his new crew or something. Honestly I never liked Shownu's friends, I don't know why.
I left for university. Alone. It's too quiet, I hate it. I took my phone out, plugged my earphones and started listening to music. While I was crossing the road listening to 'I Wait' from Day6, I felt someone pushing me hard from behind.
"What the fuck" I said as I turned around and saw Jooheon panting. Jooheon seems to be the only normal person from Shownu's circle.
"S-sorry.. I... You.. That car almost hit you" Jooheon starting explaining himself.
"It's okay, thanks for saving me." I told him and left alone again. I could walk to school with Jooheon but I want nothing to do with them.
Jooheon's POV
I watched him walking away and debated in my head whether to follow him or not. But decided against it. I looked on the ground and noticed Changkyun's earphones there but I saw that he was far ahead so he probably didn't want to talk to me.
Changkyun. Changkyun has been my crush since forever. We used to to to the same high school and then I had to come to university and thought that I would never see Changkyun again. But a year later I saw him, the first day, looking so lost, like a lost puppy. I wanted to help him that day but he always hated me and he would reject my help.
So since then I observe him closely trying to somehow get close to him and talk to him. I didn't have the chance to do so before because he was with Kihyun. But now that Kihyun got together with Shownu, he acts completely like we do not exist.
My heart hurts tho because I see him every day looking over at our table with the saddest face I have ever seen.
Whenever I checked his posts, they were quite sad. Last night he posted two tweets and a photo on Instagram.
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Im ChangkyunWhy can't I seem to forget you? I know that you never loved me, you thought you did. I thought you did. The sunset, the only thing that can make me as relaxed and carefree as you did. All the colors mixed together, something that I can't do when I'm drawing because I think they are perfect as individuals. Yet, when mixed, colors offer you a new one. One completing another just like you felt to me.
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Im Changkyun@iamwhatiam
Sleepless nights aren't supposed to be sleepless unless you have something that bothers your head.
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Im Changkyun@iamwhatiam
I never wanted it to end like that. I never wanted it to end at all. But the last 2 years was a lie. Everything you did and said was a lie. Why was I so stupid to believe you?
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When I saw them I felt my heart sink. Kihyun treated him so badly. He loved him. It was clear that he loved him but thinking that Shownu brought him to our table and Changkyun's behaviour from one day to the other, anyone could understand the way they broke up.
And while I was happy that they now broke up, I was also sad because I would see him sad the whole time. He would never smile, always looked down and he seemed so lost when his friends weren't with him.
While I was thinking all of these, I arrived at school. I immediately spotted Wonho and went to him.
"Where is Shownu?" I asked as I approached him because he was sitting there alone.
"He is with Kihyun being cheesy and all and honestly I prefer sitting alone that being with them" he told me sounding disgusted.
I just groaned and we got together to our class. While we were there we saw Hyungwon, one of Changkyun's friends came towards us.
"Hey, do you have Changkyun's earphones?" he asked me in a hurry.
"Ah yes, here" I told him while giving him the earphones. He thanked me and left running before his class start. I turned mowards Wonho and saw him blushing like mad.
"Why are you blushing?" I asked him.
"It's nothing"
"Don't tell me you and Hyungwon are a thing" I asked him and his blushed even more.
"N-no. We just kissed once or twice" he told me and looked down.
"All my friends are in a relationship and I'm single as a pringle."
"Everyone wants the last pringle though" Wonho told me and laughed.
I just shut him up by hitting him when he continued laughing. This whole time the teacher was eyeing us, definately mad. But at least we didn't get a detention or something.
I was thinking about Changkyun and all his sad posts. I swear I'm not a stalker. I just like him and can't stand the feeling of him being sad and spending his nights crying over someone who didn't deserve him. I have to talk to him and I have to do it soon.
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I know this chapter is a little bit confusing but I promise it's going to get better soon.
