Blood Stained Sweaters

Dax

As I get the pillows and blankets, I can't help but ask myself, in the most respectable way, "what the fuck?" I'm such an idiot. My lips were touching her; I almost kissed her. The sunset was beautiful, she was perfect, and I let my guard down. Its not like I meant for it to happen, it just did. I tried to play it off as a joke, but I'm not sure she believes me. I finish setting up the blankets and pillows on the rooftop and motion for her to join me. I lay back and stretch my arm out, but she stands and moves towards the stairs.
"Be right back." Molly smiles, and I make a noise in agreement and look up at the stars. There are so many things that could have gone wrong. I got very lucky that time. Molly returns after about ten minutes and I see that she's changed clothes. She's now wearing a tight, gray long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black spandex that are pulled up a little higher than usual. As she joins me on the blanket, she crouches all the way down and sits in that position for a moment, her face up to the sky, admiring the stars. Her skin-tight shorts don't leave much to the imagination, and I can't help but stare. She finally sits down and lies beside me, her head resting on my chest. She can probably hear my heart racing with her just being this close. Her arm wraps around me and she starts to trace small circles with her index finger on my rib cage. I feel my heartbeat raise as she moves down slowly to where the blanket is pulled to the side slightly, revealing a patch of skin above my waistline. I think she's going to stop there, but instead her fingertip grazes my bare skin, causing my breath to hitch. She looks up at me for a moment, and when I look down at her, I see that her shirt is more revealing than her normal attire. The neckline recedes far lower, and her cleavage is clearly visible. I look for a bit too long before tearing my eyes away and looking back at the stars. Out of the corner of my eye I see her smirk before she turns away again. What seems like hours has only been seconds. She's still making circles on my bare hip, and soon she begins tracing the bone that begins my v-line. I've barely taken a breath, and she suddenly stops. I let out a sigh, and I'm not sure if it's in relief or frustration, or both. I hear my breath shake, and so does she. "What's wrong, nerd?" She smirks, and I immediately know this is payback for earlier. I can hear it in her voice. So, instead of doing what I should do and walking back downstairs, I shake my head and say, "absolutely nothing." As the words escape my lips, my eyes travel from hers down her body slowly, taking in every inch. Two can play her game. She shudders a bit.
"Cold, princess," I ask, and as I sit up the blanket falls from my torso. She shakes her head no and her eyes meet mine. I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I can't be doing this. I know damn well what it will lead to me doing, and I can't jeopardize everything we have. I lay a blanket over her and lean back against the pillow, stretching one arm above my head and wrapping the other around her. I could stay like this forever, except she's started running her finger up and down my side again and it's getting increasingly harder not to kiss her, or worse. "Do you want something to eat now?"
"No," she pauses the motions of her index finger, "you know, you never answered my question earlier..."
"Your question?"
"Can I stay with you for a few days? I just don't wanna be around my parents and their fighting."
"I have a better idea."
"What's that?"
"I guess you'll have to wait and see," I say quietly and smile. She moves closer to me and resumes the pattern she was drawing again.
Her finger momentarily touches the waistline of my swim trunks, and with that, I've had enough.
In one swift motion I flip us both over, pinning her beneath me and holding her hands above her head. Our faces are no more than two inches apart, and her breath is heavy. Her eyes are wide, locked on mine, and in them I can see the reflection of the stars above us. She's beautiful. For a moment, it almost seems like she's leaning in closer, lessening the distance of our lips that I want more than anything to touch, but that's impossible. She would never feel that way about me. With that thought, I stand and walk towards the stairs, leaving her laying on the blankets. Her arms are still above her head where I was holding them, and I can see her lick her lips from where I stand.
"Are you sure you aren't hungry," I ask, searching for an excuse to leave.
"I'm sure." Her voice comes out in a whisper. I head down the stairs and into the bathroom, where I sit on the floor for a moment, struggling to breathe correctly. I've almost messed up so many times tonight. I can't do that again. Clearly I can't trust myself to be close to her, especially not like that. "Alright, Dax, get it together." I know what I have to do, for her sake.
I grab two lemonades from the cooler and take them up to the roof. Molly is sitting up now, and as I reach the top of the stairs she turns and smiles at me. I hand her one of the drinks and sit on the opposite side of the blanket from her. She looks at me strangely, but says nothing.
"Hey, I think I'm gonna head to bed," I say quietly before standing.
"Oh," she sounds disappointed, "yeah, okay."
"Goodnight princess." I say with a grin.
"Night, nerd." I go downstairs to the couch and lay down, knowing I won't sleep. For hours, all I can do is think of Molly, and how she'll never be mine.
At around three in the morning, I'm pulled from my thoughts by screaming. It's coming from the roof. I sprint upstairs and find Molly rolling in the blankets, still asleep, but screaming and shaking. I move to where she is and pull her into my arms, holding her tight to my chest and resting my chin on her shoulder. I say, "shh, it's okay" over and over, and soon the shaking stops and she's quiet. Her arms wrap around me and I wipe tears from her cheeks. She wakes up after a moment and looks up at me. I'm sure I look worried, and she looks away sheepishly.
"I'm sorry," her voice barely comes out as a whisper, "was I screaming?" I nod slowly, still holding onto her. "I just get nightmares and they freak me out and I can't escape and I can't control it because I'm sleeping and I ju-" I stop her from rambling as I put my finger to her lips.
"You don't have to explain, Molly. It's okay." She opens her mouth as if to protest, but decides against it and just nods. She lays her head on my chest and sighs.
"What would I do without you?"
"Let's hope we never find out." I smile wholeheartedly at her.