Blood Stained Sweaters

Molly

Okay. So I'm going crazy. Cuh-ray-zee! What is going on? I went to bed with Dax last night after he serenaded my sleepy butt. I thought it was a school day today. I fell asleep on Dax this morning. I woke him up with my crotch way too exposed to his crotch. I wrapped my legs around him. I almost KISSED him. That last one is my main concern. I will not ruin our friendship by kissing him. He doesn't want me. I mean, come on. There are much prettier, and not to mention much much skinnier girls than me. There are smarter and funnier girls all over the place. There are just...better girls basically everywhere. There is no reason for him to settle with me. He doesn't want anything but a friendship with me. I can go ahead and start calling it a 'bromance' to make it easier. It sucks because all I want is to be wrapped in his arms and kissed by his lips, but all he wants is to let me sleep with him because I pretty much made him... And I laid on top of him. He must have had trouble breathing from my weight. Seriously? What is wrong with me? Oh and I forgot to mention that right now his face is hovering about two centimeters from mine. Not helping with this whole kissing situation. His eyes are so bright and pull me in. And his lips...oh his lips...he keeps biting his lip ring and it's literally driving me wild. It's especially intoxicating when I'm in his lap with my legs wrapped around him. Why is he so irresistible? Ugh...feelings suck. All I have to do is stretch up a little and...stop. I actually start stretching and his eyes widen a bit, but I quickly retract back to the floor.
"Hey. We should go get your clothes." I smile and he rolls off of me. I notice a slight frown, but I must have imagined it.
"You mean I should go get my clothes and you should stay here." He says, his voice cracking slightly.
"Why can't I come with you?" I stick out my lower lip and widen my eyes, meeting his in a pleading gaze.
"It's just..." He pauses. "You just can't." He runs his hand through his hair. Hot. If you weren't aware, that is hot.
"Well I guess it's a good thing that you don't get a choice." I grin and run outside as he chases me. I jump into the unlocked car and grin.
"Molly." He says warningly. "Get out." He looks serious, but I really don't want him to go. I already miss him, even though he hasn't even left yet.
"No." Why does he have to make it so difficult? After arguing for about ten minutes he finally agrees to let me come with him.
"Finally." I say as he pulls out of the driveway with a stern look on his face.
"When we get there, you do not, under any circumstances, get out of this car. You aren't coming in, waiting outside, or even taking a pee break. It isn't something to argue about. If you get out, we leave. Immediately. I don't care if I get my clothes or not. I will drive you back here and I will not stay again. Am I making myself clear?" He says angrily, not taking his eyes off of the road.
"Uh...I guess. Why don't you want me coming in? Why didn't you want me coming at all?" I ask. He's confusing. Seriously, what could be so bad at his house?
"It's none of your business, Molly. Just do what I say or we're turning around." He sounds so cold and...almost cruel. I turn and face the window. Fine Dax, I'll play your little game. But I play dirty and I don't like rules. He pulls into the driveway of a small house. It's not fabulous or anything, but it's cute. "Stay here. Do not get out no matter what you see or hear." He says in monotone as he steps out of the car. He closes the door rather forcefully and walks slowly and tentatively to the front door of the house. He goes inside. Well, that's my cue. I hop out and walk quickly to the door. Time to play... I step inside, closing the door quietly behind me. The house isn't too bad inside. The furniture is placed in an attractive way. The house is nice overall. I don't see why he didn't want me to come in. I walk down the hall, where I assume he went. I hear a rummaging in a room close by and as I move forward to open the door, a hand clamps over my mouth and grabs my wrist closest to the door. Dax. He pulls me outside and pushes me against the car, anger and something else in his eyes. He takes his hand from my mouth and arm and puts one on each side of my head. "I told you to stay in the car." He hits the car and moves away from me. "Damn it Molly. I told you to stay in the car."
"Then why did you bring me?"
"Because you gave me no fucking choice, Molly!" He yells, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath. I'm almost scared by how angry he seems.
"What's so bad about me going in there?" I ask, starting to get annoyed. It was fine in there.
"I told you, it is none of your business. Get in the car and stay there this time." His jaw is clenched.
"No, Dax. What's going on?"
"Molly...please." He pleads. "Please just get in the car. Please..." I comply reluctantly. The sound in his voice. It was so pained, hurt. He goes back inside, his hands clenched at his sides. Around ten minutes later, he comes out with a small bag and...a bloody nose. He gets in the car and slams his foot on the reverse.
"Dax...wha..."
"Don't ask, Molly. Just don't." His words and tone are harsh. Where is the Dax I saw this morning? He pulls into the house, gets out, and opens my door. I try to push past him but he grabs my arm and slides his hand down into mine. His head is hung low, and he looks at my hand. He won't look at me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Molly."
"You didn't get in a skateboarding accident, did you?" He shakes his head, still staring down. I take my other hand and place a finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to meet mine.
"I'll go. It's okay." His voice holds the weight of worlds.
"No. You aren't going anywhere." The hand that holds his squeezes lightly. Before he can stop it, a tear runs down his cheek. How can someone do this to Dax? Beautiful, sweet, caring, amazing Dax. I pull him into a hug, holding him like it's the last time I'll be able to. He squeezes me tightly, not letting go until I release him. I pull back lightly and press my lips into his cheek softly. "You aren't going anywhere." I repeat, smiling and praying that it's true. There are more tears, but he smiles through them and nods. He grabs his bag and we walk into my house together. The broken boy that's still holding on and the broken girl that's ready to let go.