blended

twelve

Maasai Mara, Kenya.

18th September 2019.
10:39am.

'What are your plans for when we get back home?' Wilmer asks softly as he runs his fingers through Demi's hair, her head resting against his chest as she clutches the sheets around her bare body.

'I've got some stuff on with the label. We're so close to signing someone knew and I actually really like it. I think she'll do really well.' Demi replies smiling. 

'Yeah? Sounds amazing, nena. I've been thinking about what we were talking about the other day and I might try to get back into acting a bit. Nothing full time or permanent like NCIS was but  just something so I can get back into it.' He says. 

'Yeah? I think that's a great idea, Wil. I think it'll do you the world of good to get back out there and back into acting. I know how much you loved it.' She replies.

'I just worry that if I start doing late nights the kids will think I'm abandoning them... They've already been through so much.' He says causing her to shake her head.

'They know you would never abandon them, Wilmer. Those three amazing little people are going to grow up knowing they have one of the most loving, patient and loyal dads in the world. They are going to grow up being so proud of everything you have done to give them the life that they have now.' She replies tilting her head to look at him. Smiling slightly, she ever so gently runs her finger down his cheek.

'I just want to give them a good life despite the fact that they've already experienced loss at such a young age.' He says shrugging his shoulders. 

'Well you're doing a pretty fucking amazing job. Those kids have experienced loss but they have also experienced so much love, Wilmer. I'm not saying that makes everything okay but they know how much their mom loved them, they know that they were the centre of her universe and they know that she will always be looking over them. They've got so many people who love them in this world. They're going to be just fine.' She says.

'I love you.' He mumbles moving some hair out of her face.

'I love you too.' She replies smiling. 

__________

2:12pm.

Her hands shake as she reaches forward and lifts the familiar item into her hand; it's not the first time she's found herself in this situation and she feels like a stupid little kid who's fucked up. Glancing down she feels her heart pounding as her eyes settle on the little plus sign. She's suspected this over the past few days and finally worked up the courage to ask the on-site medic if they knew where she could buy a test. She adores Sebastian, Alma and Jade but she didn't have to carry them for nine months, watch her body completely change into something she doesn't recognise and then have to go through what she can only assume is a traumatic experience by giving birth. She knows the minute Wilmer finds out about this he is going to be absolutely over the moon and she doesn't want to let him down by admitting that this isn't what she wants. Pressing her hand against her stomach, she can't help but sigh as she drops the test into her toiletry bag and shakes her head. Wilmer can never find out about this. 

____________

8:34pm.

'Today has been pretty amazing... I can't believe we fly home tomorrow. This trip has been so surreal.' Demi admits shaking her head as she falls back onto the bed.

'I'm so glad I was able to come out here with you... To experience something that is so clearly special to you.' Wilmer says carefully slipping the shoes from her feet causing her to smile.

'Can I ask you something?' He asks pulling her feet onto his lap and beginning to gently run his hands up her legs.

'Mmm...' She replies closing her eyes and resting her head back against the pillows.

'When did you start coming out here? How long has it been?' He asks.

'Oh it's been years...' She replies, a small smile on her face as she glances down at him.

'Why did you start coming here? You said earlier that this place got you through some stuff times...' He says.

'I can't.' She mumbles shaking her head.

'Dems, it's just us. You know you can tell me anything.' He says.

'I know but I just- This I can't.' She replies biting her bottom lip.

'Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you.' He says as she moves away from him and sits up with her back resting against the headboard.

'This isn't about you.' She replies crossing her arms over her chest.

'Then what is this about. Are you not comfortable telling me?' He asks.

'I'm not doing this.' She replies standing up. She quickly slides her feet into a pair of flip flops before making her way out of the tent. Sighing, Wilmer gets off the bed and follows her outside where he finds her leaning against the railing on the decking. There is some elephants in the distance and tears fill her eyes as she sees a little baby one.

'Demi, I didnt mean to push you away.' He says.

'I just- I need a minute, Wilmer.' She replies, her voice thick with emotion causing him to sigh.

'I'm sorry, nena... I love you.' He says and she nods her head.

'I know.' She replies.