Deadpool X Reader

Chapter 30: The Lab

Bruce was asleep and he was also barely holding on to a bottle of scotch. You shook him a bit and he groaned. You shook him harder, but he only groaned louder. You hiss in his ear, "Bruce!" and shake him violently. He finally stirs with a groggy,
"Hu-n-wha?".
"Bruce, it's me, (Y/N)."
"(Y/N)?"
"Yeah. I need your help with something." You say as you lower your stabbed head closer to his sleep deprived face. He takes a couple moments to clumsily locate and put on his glasses from his messy desk, but when he does he lets out a large gasp. Then he precedes to choke and gag as he sees your blood soaked face which happens to have a scalpel stuck right in the top of it.
"Hey you ok Bruce?" You ask.
He takes a swig from the scotch bottle in his hand and replies with "Yeah, yeah, just ... don't like seeing blood. Here-" He grabs the back of your head as he sets down the scotch. "Let me try and get that for you." He grabs at the scalpel and pulls, but his hand slips before he can even make it nudge. "Hold on", he grabs and puts on some surgical gloves lying on his table and tries to pull at the scalpel again. "Hrrnngh! Hrnnm!" He lets go. "Yeah I can't seem to pull it out."
"Really? Don't you have some cool gadget lying around here you can use to pull this thing out?" You say reaching for the scalpel yourself.
"No. Unfortunately we don't have a gadget made for pulling a scalpel that is lodged in someone's head." He puts an arm on your shoulder. "But don't worry, I am sure someone around here can help like..." He takes a look around the lab and his eyes lock on Tony, "Tony! Well that's if he's awake if not then I don't think he will be waking up soon."
"What makes you say that?"
"The amount of drinks around him."
"Oh."
"But! In the meantime could you give me a few blood samples?"
"Sure! In fact that's what I came in here for."
"So that's why you have a scalpel stuck in your head. Haha. That's not exactly how you typically get blood samples, but A-plus for effort." He states as he starts searching through his cluttered desk for his tools.
"Oh this is not from, well actually nevermind." You decided not to tell him the real story that would be as equally embarrassing and stupid as the assumption. He takes a couple minutes of rummaging before he turns to you with a couple empty test tubes, needles, and antiseptic wipes. He motions for you to sit down on a nearby and not-too-cluttered lab table. You sit and he begins cleaning both of your arms with wipes.
"Both arms?" You ask quizzically.
"Oh, um, yes! Sorry, but you do have healing factor don't you?"
"Yeah-"
"Then I think the process would go by quicker if we did both arms" He interrupts you ask he starts putting the syringes into nearby tubes that connect to a space which holds a test tube rack. He then takes out the vials that are already in the rack and replaces them with fresh, new ones.
"So shall we begin?" He asks readying the needles.
"I guess. Just don't take too much out at once or you might actually kill me." You say jokingly.
"Haha, good one, but don't worry this process will be extremely slow considering the way I am going to do it. We will let gravity do most of the work for the both of us because I don't think either of us are in too good of a state to try and use syringes." He says as he inserts the first syringe.
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An hour has passed and Bruce finally got enough blood to call an "adequate amount" and lets you go. Tony hasn't woken up and probably still wouldn't according to Bruce. Everyone else, however, should be awake or waking up very soon and heading for breakfast. Your stomach growls with newfound hunger as you now need new energy so you don't pass out from all the blood you had to replace. You should also probably wash your face.
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It's been a year, wow. If you are wondering where I have been, simple answer, school. Sorry I haven't updated and no this doesn't mean consistent updates yet. Still got 1 more year of school to deal with before I can start figuring out a real schedule. I do hope to finish this one day. So I am not really back-back, but I will be giving you guys more updates. Hope you guys enjoy.