Hacker

Epilogue II - Epiphany

I waited in the car in front of the place. Ed would walk out soon. My phone was in my hand, showing the messages Zack and I had.

But for the past few hours, they were only sent by me.

He read them. I knew he did, but he responded nothing. I turned off the screen, letting a sigh escaped from my lips. Soon, I heard the gate opened. My eyes darted to the entrance and I saw Ed's figure walking out. I opened the driver's door and stepped out, standing outside of the car so that he saw me.

Ed didn't have a good relationship with his family. Not after he ran his business. Only his older sister who seemed to still care about him and attended the court the other day. But that's all. I had contacted her asking about who's gonna fetch him, and she requested me to as she was still having a holiday with her husband.

And so I did.

I watched him from afar. He's still talking with the guard. They seemed to be good acquaintances. There was something about him that made me felt a little different, made me unable to move my gaze. His face was bright and pure, completely different than 5 years ago.

After minutes, he bid what I assumed a goodbye to the guard and walked ahead. His eyes wandered around for a bit, before finding mine. I forced a smile. Unexpectedly, his immediately turned to a frown. My smile faded. He looked around again. Once he was sure his sister wasn't here, he started to walk slowly towards me.

He curved a small smile. "Assalamualaikum."

His Islamic greeting, alongside with that signature attractive smile which now gave out a really peaceful vibe, low key had me taken aback a little bit. "Waalaikumsalam." I averted my gaze.

"So..." he let out a nervous cough. "You, huh?"

His nervousness; for whatever reason, had somehow created an awkward air around us. "Yup, it's me." I tried to sound cheerful, "Your sister is still in Japan." I stated.

He nodded as an understanding. "No wonder."

I turned towards the car slightly. "Shall we?"

He seemed to be hesitating for a second, before making up his mind. "Sure."

The awkwardness didn't go away. In fact, it's just getting thicker as we're that close in the car. The radio didn't really do anything to help. Ed noticed this and asked for my permission. "May I?" His finger was already in front of the radio button.

"Yes, please." I gave a green light while still focusing on the road.

Three clicks, and it stopped at Imaan radio station. Quranic recitation was played. Quietly, he followed the recitation and stopped changing the channel, leaned back to his seat. I glanced to my side to see he stared outside of the window with his mouth still muttering. My heartbeat fastened by the realization.

He's changed.

But I stayed quiet and pretended to not be bothered by it.

After minutes, the recitation stopped. DJ had started to talk and the songs were played. We let it filled the silence for a while, but when the DJ talked again, Ed tuned down the volume and continue staring whatever was more interesting on his side of the road. I couldn't bear the awkwardness anymore, so I broke it. "Sorry for not visiting you," I said. "at all."

From the corner of my eyes, his head turned to look at the front. "It's fine." He replied, sounded completely unoffended. "Plus, that actually helped... a lot."

My brows creased and I glanced sideways to see him curving a half smile, still facing the front. I parked in front of his house as we'd finally arrived and killed the engine.

"What does that mean?" I turned to look at him and tilted my head, proving my curiosity.

For the first time after he's released, he met my eyes, and let them stayed. His expression was giving out something I couldn't decipher.

"You know, Raelyn, prison isn't that bad after all." He spoke. My heart fluttered as he mentioned my full name. It sounded strange coming from his mouth, after everything. But it sounded nice, too. "I've learnt many things - about people, about life, about... God." He was no longer look at me as he said the last part. "I also got the professional help I needed while being in there."

For your information, prisons here would accommodate the inmates accordingly. Besides health and skills, they teach Muslims to understand more about their religion - memorizing the Quran, proper lessons about the Prophet, his companions and basic Islamic rules, while non-Muslims were focused about common morals and behaviours. Some received it better than the others. Some couldn't take it at all. It's obvious that Ed wasn't the latter.

Either way, you can't avoid marrying him. True. It's just that if he's gotten better, then maybe I'd have a better marriage, too. Obsession in a relationship is just scary to be honest.

"Our scholar, As-Syafi'e said if you want this world, you must have knowledge. If you want the hereafter, you must have knowledge. If you want both, you must have knowledge, too." He continued. "And I think, that's one thing I've been missing. Meeting people in there, talking to my therapist, and learning all those religious stuff, I had a realization about everything I've done." His eyes found their way to mine again, "I only saw this world. I only saw you... And that blurred everything else."

I kept quiet, waiting for him to continue.

He gave me a sad smile. "I need to release myself, Lyn. Not only physically but mentally as well. I need to detach for a while, from anything that reminds me of my past. I'm sorry, but I should let you know that you're my trigger." He avoided my eyes. "I want to change. To be better. Just remembering how I desperately craved for this world makes me sick of myself." He confessed.

I reluctantly voiced out my assumption. "Does that mean..." I trailed off.

He gave a small nod. "I'm sorry. But I need us to separate, Raelyn." He confirmed.

I lost my words for a second.

"I remember our deal. Of course I do. I've been wanting to tell you my decision since I was in there. But you never came." He explained disappointedly. "I could ask for my sister's help, but, I didn't trust her enough to not report our deal to the police. It wouldn't be pretty if she did."

I gave an understanding look. Although inside, I was devastated. I've rejected Zack, for God's sake.

If Ed noticed my discomfort, he didn't show it. "So, I guess this is it."

This was it. The end of us.

I looked at him again and offered a smile. "This is it." I repeated his words with an accepting tone.

His eyes stared me for a little while longer, as if memorizing my whole feature. Eventually, he looked away, an appreciative smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for saving me." He said breathily.

It was the very same deal that had brought him in to jail where he found the realization. And maybe for him, it happened because of me.

"All the gratitude belongs to Him." I replied.

A few moments passed, before he gave a final wish. "Fi hifzillah." (May you're always under His care)

"Waiyyak." (You too) I muttered back. There's a bit of sadness swollen in my chest but I didn't let it sounded obvious in my voice.

Ed paid me a last glance and got out of the car. Taking his things with him, I stared at the man who's changed for the better and walking towards his house, as well as out of my life.