to: love that soothes

24

it was april when love came. love was there, red-haired and sat awkwardly with black jacket that looked stupid. i didn't know love was there. i passed love, coldly and non-chalantly, with arms still stinging like they were mad and i could hear mourns in my head. love was there, but i didn't know love, didn't want to know love--how bold of me to want love when i am a walking nightmares and caged monsters

but love knocked softly, for days, patiently, but i was both hurt and a coward. until one day i dragged myself to creak open the door and i found love, love still there, this time kind and warm, and love said, i am here. i am real, i am a being. please don't be afraid this time. witness me. 

it was may already when love was there and i knew it. i didn't just pass love. i watched love quietly, i witnessed love. i witness love that day, and days and weeks and months afterwards. love wears baggy shirts and ripped jeans. love writes words and declares them in beats, time and time again. love loves photography and takes pictures of clouds, a lot. love dances, paints his moves and the stage is his canvas.

love bites his lips and scratches the back of his neck when he is nervous. love looks good in yellow and orange. love is dorky and clumsy. love has a deep, warm voice that sounds like forgiveness. love offers his hands to strangers, to the world; we are going to run together, and i am not leaving anyone behind. love could have kept so many things for himself but love doesn't. love has a shy, gummy smile and my heart told me, i still exist and this is what i am willing to choose. 

in the end, it would be selfish to ask love to heal, even when love is everything above and more, for i am too much of broken things crumpled into this sack made of bones and meat, so i don't.

but by everything above and more, love, love soothes; wounds and blood and scars and nails--love soothes and that's enough.