Second Chances... [Max Green/Ronnie Radke BoyxBoy♥]

I missed max.

Those were the only thoughts in my head these days, I couldn't concentrate on anything properly without it linking it back to him. The lyrics I wrote, or the hurt I felt to whenever I looked back to my old book to where I still kept my songs from back when I was in Escape The Fate.

Though it'd never be the same anymore, they've all moved on with their lives, though as much as I try to move on, I can't help but think about the reasons to why I hated them so much.

I never realised that as I was ruining my life I was affecting theirs, the band was tearing apart, they couldn't handle my alcoholic self, my drug addiction, I guess they had no choice but to kick me out anyway, if I was any of them I might have done the same.

But why am I regretting this so much? I have Ryan, Jacky, Our new guitarist Ronnie, Derek...Hell I have Falling In Reverse, a more successful band than Escape The Fate were. We have more fans, our gigs are hella crazy, if not, awesome as fuck.

I am Ronnie Radke. No longer drug addict, a now sober man who has learnt to stand back up on his own two feet, working hard to re-fullfil my dream that I had another chance at doing.

Prison did good for me, it actually changed me, I learned to realise my mistakes. Not give up, I spent good time in Prison, unlike some people who would mope around I actually did something for myself. Every night I would think about the crimes I'd committed, the guilt took over, so I took that guilt to a pen and paper, drumming out the beats of songs on the tables, scribbling away sheets of music.

Prisoners would ask me to sign autographs for their daughters who were huge crazed fans for their idol.

Heck, I wasn't an Idol, I was a wreck. I was a huge wreck, don't follow in my footsteps with the drug abuse and alcohol. The Ronnie from ETF.

Follow in the footsteps of Ronnie Radke from Falling In Reverse.

Because that is who I am now. That is who I shall continue as to live on. Living life to the fullest, pleasing my fans, continuing to inspire them in a way, letting them know you don't need all that shit to ruin your life with. Be yourself, don't do drugs, because as most of my fans are still reckless teenagers, going through a phase of growing up, they have to learn to say no to the drugs.

Drugs. They won't harm just you, they harm the people around you, don't forget your future.

Yet why am I still having second guilty thoughts on ETF?

Maybe its not ETF. Maybe its just Max. I ruined his life more than anyones. I got him hooked on bad things, he did what he had to do. It's all in the past.

Yet I want to make it up to him, I miss our brotherly friendship to where I could kiss his cheek and hug him in public to where I could show brotherly affection.

I want to make it up to Max. I want him back, I want him to see the real me, though he may still hate me. I have to let him know I.can't afford to lose him forever.

I want another shot at this.

That is what I am determined to do.