A Slave to Love

Chapter 54: Plan

And just like that I was frozen. I couldn't move from that spot. I was stuck no matter how hard I tried to pick up my feet and keep going, to make my escape before he was in front of me and I had to see his handsome face.

He had commanded me.

I whirled around. Apparently, as long as I didn't walk any further away from him I could move.

"Let me go," I snapped at him.

"No, I want...I need to talk to you," he said firmly but he looked exhausted. There were bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. He hadn't slept. In a few days if I was right. I pushed the thought away. So what if he wasn't sleeping? What about me? What about all the nights I was laying awake, staring at the ceiling, horrified and wondering what the hell had happened between us until I spiraled so fast and deep into new scenarios I could barely breathe? How impossible it was to relax in this house at any given moment, knowing it was his home and he had the freedom to go anywhere, do anything, could come and seek me out whenever he wanted regardless of whether I wanted to see him or not?

"Let me go right now," I said, struggling not to raise my voice, even if the panic was speeding through my galloping heart, firing through my veins with adrenaline and fear. I couldn't stay here and listen to him. If I let him talk I might do something stupid, like believe him. Or forgive him.

"You're going to listen first, then I'll let you go, I swear," he insisted, walking towards me with his hands half raised but open, as if trying to calm me down.

I tried to back up before he reached me, but I couldn't. I was nothing more than a caged animal, here for his own amusement, trapped while he got to watch me try to escape and fail. I'd broken his command once, why couldn't I do it now?

"Stop it!" I shouted, forcing back against the invisible barrier keeping me here with him. I was already a prisoner in his house, chained to him through our bond, and now he wanted to make it worse? Keep me here on a leash so I couldn't even pretend like I had a choice in the matter?

I just kept shoving back against his order, until my muscles ached and sweat beaded my hairline, but it wouldn't budge.

"Kiana, please. I just want to talk to you, but you keep dodging me every time you see me."

"I haven't seen you for almost a week now and that's your fault not mine. Now. Let. Me. Go." I shouted, eyes burning.

"I know, but if you'd just let me—" 

"Stop it! I told you I'm done, just leave me alone," I shrieked, and oh how I hated every single tear that started to spill down my cheeks as I clawed at that wall holding me back, keeping me close to him. For too long I had wanted to rip his walls down and see who he was, all the things he'd been hiding, and I'd deluded myself into thinking the person he was protecting was worthwhile. 

I should have taken his walls as a sign; they weren't to keep him safe, they were to keep from hurting other people.

Whatever ridiculous hope he might have had to attempt such a thing shattered before my eyes.

"Go," he whispered, shoulders slumping.

I stumbled through the empty air now that there was nothing to force against and fled into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. My legs wobbled and I sank to the floor, shaking from head to toe. How could he do that? Command me? Force me to talk to him?

What if he tried to force me to forgive him, to forget that this all happened?

Wild thoughts were running about as I thought of different ways he could control me like his own personal puppet.

It took hours to calm down enough to get up off the floor. It was an even worse betrayal for him to sink as low as that to get my attention. He had never commanded me unless it was for my own good or safety, but this...this opened a whole new world of terrifying things he hurt me with if he were desperate enough.