The Problem with Amber

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Pairing: Krystal/Amber

One-shot (Krystal POV)

Synopsis: There's something about Amber that's so...Amber. She's...her.

A/N: Same verse (universe?) as The Problem with Krystal. Basically this is just Krystal's version. Also listen (and find the english translation) of f(x)'s "Hard But Easy."—legit Kryber. lol. Here goes author's another one-shot! :D


The Problem with Amber

I.

The problem with Amber is that we're friends.

Since day one, I already felt like something clicked between us. Although I first thought she was a guy, I already felt comfortable around her. It's like I've known her in my past life. We're polar opposites, that's to be said; She likes to make people smile and I like to gloom. She's like the yin while I'm the yang. And maybe that's a thing that made it work between us. She lightens up my day. She always knows what to say. The problem with Amber is that we're friends.

II.

The problem with Amber is that I'm attracted to her.

It's not because she looks like a guy. Heck, I find a lot of guys and girls attractive but there's something about Amber that's so...Amber. Like, ugh I can't even describe her. She's...her. And I also know that a lot of other girls and guys find her charming. Cause she really is. She's cute and sweet and attractive and funny and dorky and...yeah. The problem is that besides all those things, I find myself noticing her quirks; like how she never, never leaves her headphones- she always wears them especially when we go abroad. Or how she doesn't notice that she bites her bottom lip every single time she's nervous. Or that she has this tendency to lean her body weight on her right foot. I don't know if that's weird, but I (out of all people) notice them; I, Krystal Jung, who's deemed as easily bored, borderline indifferent to a lot of things. The problem with Amber is not only am I attracted to her, but I also know that I've been attracted to her for a very long time.

III.

The problem with Amber is that she's friendly.

And when I say friendly, I mean really friendly. It's like she'll run for president or something. Everywhere we go, every performers we see, she always knows somebody. She's friends with Yoona unnie, Henry, Min, Suzy, Ailee, Donghae, Key, and every other member of every other group not only in our company, but I think every single KPOP agencies. I could literally name anyone and she'll probably know them. She's practically little miss congeniality. The problem with Amber is not that she's close to everyone, but the bigger problem is that I have a problem with it. I feel something in the pit of my stomach every time she interacts with someone else. It's like, a hole that's digging in my chest every time she touches her, or she hugs him, or she talks to them. My problem with Amber is getting bigger and bigger. And naming that problem is what scares me.

IV.

The problem with Amber is that I want her.

And it's not that I want her as a friend, or a sister, or a brother or whatever. It's that I want her as mine. Only mine. As a girlfriend (there. I. said. it).That probably sounds childish and selfish but that's how I feel. It's that I know I want her in a sense that I love her; I'm in love with her. It's the "I've-always-wanted-you-for-a-long-time-now-but-I-can't-confess-cause-I'm-scared-of-the-repercussions" kind of love. It's a cowardly love, basically.

V.

So I kissed her. And at her birthday night, to make things worse.

I drank a lot that night but I wasn't drunk. I was totally aware of what I did.

The problem is that she kissed me back. And the sudden knowledge that she might feel the same scared me more than the chance of being rejected. Amber Liu kissing me back is like falling into a black hole. It's terrifying. The feeling of falling like this. The feeling that I've already fallen for her.

The problem with Amber is that she might feel the same way, but I don't know what to do with that.

VI.

The problem with Amber is that she never demands. She never demands more.

Not only since that night (with the kiss), she just lets things stay the way they are for the past 5 years. I feel (know) that she treats me differently (or I'm just assuming, probably having delusions), like I'm the only one she helps go down the stairs, or how she lets me borrow her clothes (she even buys me clothes), or how she always reserves a seat for me. Or how she has this smile, I don't know, like a smile that's reserved for only me. Even more, our members take notice of my dynamic with Amber. We have this semi-awkward yet semi-close relationship. Luna unnie even brought up the word once: blurred.

Gosh, I like Amber so much that I'm making theories about my relationship with her. Get it together, Krystal.

Yes I know that after that night, I'm the one trying to avoid her, I've actually been successful in avoiding her for weeks, and the problem with that is: Amber doesn't push further. She doesn't demand. She never demands. No questions. No answers. About that night. She just lets me walk away, farther from her; like it's completely fine with her even if our friendship (or whatever our relationship has been the past five years) goes down the drain just because of a single kiss that one night.

The problem with Amber is that she never demands more. But I really wanther to.

VII.

The problem with Amber is that she suddenly starts to demand. It's the 3rdweek and 4th day of not actually talking to each other (not that I'm counting. Whatever). It's the night I'm about to go home after a tv show promotion.

"Krystal."

"Uh...I'm going home."

And I couldn't take it anymore. So I confess everything. I confess that I love her. I've been in love with her since that day at practice (5 years ago) when she sat down next to me and started blubbering about function equations, relating our group name to the formulas and x and y lines she's learned, mastered in math. The only thought I had that day was: I think I'm starting to love you, nerd.

She stops me and hugs the breath out of me. She kisses me on the lips and says those words I was scared of hearing, because of the implications of what's next?

"I love you stupid princess. This stupid llama is in love with you too, Jung Soo Jung."

VIII.

These problems with Amber are not problems anymore. And I'm not scared anymore. Because Amber Liu has my heart and now I know I have hers (all along). Turns out sulky ddungie can end up with her ever smiling llama.

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