The Problem with Krystal

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Pairing: Krystal/Amber

One-shot (Amber POV)

Synopsis: The problem with Krystal is that she kisses me first. The problem with Krystal is that I'm in love with her. And I don't think she loves me back.



The Problem with Krystal

I.

The problem with Krystal is that we're friends.

We've known each other for like five years now. She's been there for me when I needed someone. She's been there when I cried because of endless rehearsals. She's been there patiently translating Korean words I didn't understand. She's been my shoulder to cry on at nights when I miss my family. She's the only one in the group I could really talk to, because until now, English is the only language I could fully express how I feel. The problem with Krystal is that we're friends.

II.

The problem with Krystal is that I'm attracted to her.

I know that a lot of people find her attractive; several K-Pop idols have cited her as their ideal. It's not surprising, really; Krystal is indeed beautiful. What's surprising is that I find myself jealous every time someone looks at her that way. What's more surprising is that I start being aware of the little things she does (like how sometimes she touches the top part of her hair before entering the stage, or how she always places her rice on the left side of the plate, or how sometimes she bites her cheeks to stop herself from laughing). The problem with Krystal is not only is she attractive, but I also find myself attracted to her.

III.

The problem with Krystal is that she's inconsistent.

One minute she's being touchy freely, the next she's not even looking at me like I have a disease or something. It's always like that in interviews, promotions, and performances. Most of the time, I think, "was there something I did, or said?" that made her act that way? Sometimes (most times take place in radio interviews), I try to hide my disappointment when she appears uninterested to what I'm about to say. I also find it odd that I'm the only one in the group she's not affectionate with when there's a camera. Funny, I think (know) that we're close behind the scenes, but why does she think there's a need to hide our closeness? The problem with Krystal is that she's inconsistent. And the bigger problem is that I find myself hurt with her being that way.

IV.

The problem with Krystal is that I think I'm in love with her.

It's not the "we've-been-long-time-friends-and-now-I-love-you" kind of love, it's the "I-think-I've-been-in-love-with-you-since-the-first-time-I-saw-you-and-it's-only-just-now-that-I've-acknowledged-it" kind. The problem with Krystal is that I know I'm in love with her and I know she doesn't (and will never) feel the same way.

V.

The problem with Krystal is that she kisses me first.

It's my birthday. Everyone is having fun and drinking when suddenly she grabs me towards my room, closes the door, and kisses the breath out of me. I would've felt like I got what I've wanted for so long yet I can't. She's drunk, thus she probably doesn't mean what she did. It's just the alcohol doing that; especially because I know that drunk Krystal is flirty Krystal. So yeah. I'm ecstatic but I feel more sad. The problem with Krystal is that she kisses me, but she's drunk. And I don't know what to think of it.

VI.

The problem with Krystal is that she starts avoiding me.

The day after the party (and the days after that), Krystal won't even go near me. Every time I try to talk to her, she starts doing something or pretends to talk to someone. It's really frustrating, especially because if it was about the kiss, she's the one who made the first move! (or...oh no, maybe she thought I took advantage of her and now she thinks I'm the dyke who can't keep it in her pants...shit...shit...shit). So now I have no choice but to stop her from walking out because I want, need to talk to her about it before it completely destroys our friendship. I already know I can't lose her (even as a friend); so I'll do my best to make this right. The problem is that although she's avoiding me, I'm still going after her.

VII.

"Krystal."

"Uh...I'm going home."

"Wait. Could we talk about that night?"

"Amber, I really need to go..."

"No!...look, Sorry for shouting but I couldn't take anymore of this 'you avoiding me'. I'm sorry about the...if you...if you want...we could just pretend it didn't happen." It hurts like hell but I need to do it. For the sake of friendship. For the sake of still having her. As a friend.

Surprisingly, Krystal turns around with a look on her face that I'm familiar with—her poker face which means she doesn't want to show how she feels about the thing we're talking about.

"Do you really think that?" However, I'm not familiar with the tone of voice she's using right now. There's a hint of sadness but I'm not certain. Suddenly, I see tears in the corner of her eyes. She's trying to stop them but I already see one sliding down her cheeks. This immediately concerns me.

"Krystal, what's the problem?" I try to go near her but she holds up her hand.

"Don't." Now she's definitely gonna cry. That crack in her voice is the one I'm familiar with. "Answer me, Amber. Do you really think that way?"

About what?"

"Damn it! Don't play games with me. I can't...I can't hold it in anymore." She's been flailing her arms in different directions and she starts pacing (which means she's frustrated). "I've been trying to forget that fucking kiss and I can't! I've been trying to hold everything in anymore and I can't, I don't want to anymore. You've been...you've been you and I... I don't know about this...Do you..do you understand that?!"

Am I really hearing this or am I hallucinating?

"I love you, Amber! I've been in love with you for a long time now. You're not the ideal that I've envisioned myself with. You're not the prince charming that my parents have been telling stories about to me. You're not any of those things but...ugh... I LOVE YOU." (she says the last part timidly, with a slight derisive laughter). "And now you're not even answering me, Amber. You're close to everyone so I don't know how you really feel. But that night when I kissed you, you kissed me back and that's the last straw. I just...can't stop myself from saying this or I'll ...I'll explode."

I'm frozen. I try to open my mouth to speak but I think my brain just melted (together with my heart). This girl. This girl who most people dream to be with; this girl who isn't half aware of how beautiful she is; this girl who holds my heart for the past five years without even knowing it. This girl. Krystal Jung. Jung Soo Jung loves me. Krystal is in love with me.

"I'll go. Sorry for making things awkward, Amber but..."

"Stupid." She's startled by what I said and stops from turning the knob. She faces me again and I can't help smiling at her face; even with the smudged mascara because of tears, she's still the most gorgeous being I've known in my life.

"What did you just say—"

I close the distance between us and hug her tight (I'm probably strangling her but I can't stop). After what felt like hours, I take a step back, hold her hips and give her a peck on the lips.

"I love you, stupid princess. This stupid llama is in love with you too, Jung Soo Jung."

VIII.

These problems with Krystal are not problems anymore. Because Krystal Jung has my heart and now I know I have hers (all along). Turns out, the servant can end up with the princess.

                                                                                            ...

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