Mutated Mate [it will be edited...at some point in my life, doubtfully]

chapter 18

All those years of pent up anger and frustration exploded into a whole new persona. Watching Him tell her she wasn’t wanted. To see the crushed look in her eyes haunts me still. I could never forgive myself for letting her down, whether it was the real me or not. She was my mate and I couldn’t even protect her.

Just as I can’t protect her now from Zack, from this alter ego, from me. I watched in utter distain as Zack leaned forward and kissed her; added to that when he left she was smiling after him, she was falling for him.

The raw anger and jealousy I felt did nothing but add to the strength of the Other me. I felt myself chuckle, no doubt from the power I was providing him.

All of a sudden this new scent hit me, it was Leah’s vanilla & chocolate but it was stronger, tinged with copper and rust; simultaneously I saw her reach for her bike and cough, as though she had trouble breathing. A feeling of desolation hit me as I watched my mate stutter but just as soon as it came she stopped, her scent was back to normal and I watched as she carefully rode back home. 

The Other me decided to torture me more by following her home. He wanted me to suffer, the more I did the more dominant he became. I watched in pain as she drove home, a longing feeling nagging me.

As she reached her house yet again the scent of Leah’s mixed with copper and rust filled my nostrils and I watched in horror as she fumbled and fell towards the ground; overcome with worry, concern and love I somehow managed to push through and suddenly felt my own body.

The mirror look disappearing and my own eyes replacing them. Not second-guessing it I ran to Leah’s unconscious body and picked her up. Without knocking I entered her home, ignoring the stuttering Jack who had manage to choke on the drink in his hand, and entered Leah’s room placing her on the bed. I felt so helpless looking at her lying there but I couldn’t dwell on it as Jack finally came rushing into the room.

“What happened” he demanded as he touched her face obviously looking for signs of injury. “What did you do” he blamed, pointing a finger at me.

Ignoring his accusation I looked down “what’s wrong with her”. My tone desolate but my eyes stated differently. The only I was still in control was because of the love I felt for the girl lying unconscious on the bed.

Jack felt her pulse and placed the back of his hand on her forehead. After another five minutes of examination he placed a damp cloth on her head and tucked her in. Silently I walked out behind him closing the door. With each step I took I felt my limited control waning. The Other me was angry at being overthrown, he wanted to come out.

Walking to the door I stopped when Jack said my name. He stepped forward but I made no inclination to move. “You’re her mate aren’t you” when he realised I wasn’t going to say anything he continued “Mates are important to her. She realised the importance of them when her mother’s mate looked after her” Confused I turned around to look at him, hinting to continue.

He sighed and rubbed along his jaw “Her mother, my sister, Jill married Leah’s father when she was 30. She thought she wasn’t going to find her mate and married him. He wasn’t a good man, we all advised her against it but he seemed like a good husband and father and eventually we all accepted him to an extent. There was always something lying underneath” he paused and stared up at the ceiling.

Closing his eyes he exhaled “She found her mate one day. She wasn’t going to leave with him no matter how much he begged just for Leah’s sake but Leah’s dad never knew that. As soon as he found out he exploded and killed her” Jacks voice trailing away. “He vanished after that. It was Jill’s mate who found and looked after Leah for a while. She was only 12 years old. After that she came to live with me. She get’s the importance of mates and how strong that bond is based on the devotion she saw from him. She won’t give up on you since you two were destined to be together. Just thought you should know”

I stood staring at his retreating back as he disappeared deeper into the house. I didn’t know what to feel. Hurt, shock, anger, pride, everything. Hurt for what she had to endure at such a young age, anger at her father for what he did, pride at the women she became. But unfortunately these emotions were too strong and overpowering. Clutching my head I felt my soul being sucked and pulled backward and soon realised I was back, looking at the mirror into what is my life.

The Other me was angry at being thwarted and I was angry at being imprisoned again, all this did was deepen his power. I hated this. This was all my fault. Instead of bottling everything up I should’ve stood up for myself. If I had this other more sinister persona would not have been born. All those negative emotions would not have accumulated. I would not have rejected Leah. I would’ve been with the person who loves me for who I am.

Sighing in frustration I watched as my body was taken home. Clearly deciding too much had happened today the Other me was half way to my room before Grams called my name from the kitchen.

I felt the Other me hesitate in answering her but eventually he walked to her instead of answering. Knowing there was no getting away from Grandma’s wrath should she deem it necessary. Standing in the kitchen she was holding a mug looking directly into my eyes but I felt her presence right by me. The Other me was confused an slightly fearful by the aura she was exhibiting. She was looking at me, and not at him.

Deep within, I felt her eyes on mine “Leah’s sick and only you can fix it Adrian. You have to do what’s best for her and stop thinking only about yourself. You’re stronger than you think, you’ve always been hunny. You’ve fought all these years alone but now you have someone to fight for. The way you look, it’s a gift in disguise and as soon as you stop thinking of it as a curse everything will work out” she stared meaningfully at me “I’ll be leaving for a couple of days. Remember, only you can save her Adrian. It’s up to you to figure out how” and with that she walked out the back door and disappeared. Funnily enough, still holding the mug.

Astounded at what just happened we stood watching her leave before I felt the Other me become angry at her words, he stormed into my room and laid down. I thought over her words but didn’t know how to save her. I didn’t understand. The way I looked was the cause of all this, how could it be a gift!

Becoming frustrated at Gram’s words and slightly hurt that she would just leave without helping me; clearly she knew I wasn’t myself and cryptic words wasn’t helping find a solution.

Eventually my thoughts drifted back to Leah. I thought of her soft eyes and beautiful smile. I remembered out kiss and her sassiness and fiesty attitude. She was perfect. With those happy thoughts my body drifted off to sleep and so did my consciousness.