Identity Crisis (BWWM) COMPLETE

Chapter Eleven: Eight Or Zero

You got in so late

It's Sunday morning

Said that you were leaving

Letting go of us

Where did we go wrong? Oh

And now you say you're leaving California

Gotta head back East and want to leave tonight

Pack your things and go

But if you run away,

I won't be alright

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won't let go, I won't let go

And I can be your light

Stay with me tonight

I won't let go, I won't let go

Yeah

Pick up all the pieces

Fight to hold on

Put them back together, do it all for love

Never let it go

Oh, yeah

Cause I don't need a reason

Just to hold ya

Wipe all of your tears and

Look you in the eyes

Baby please don't go

Oh, yeah

But if you run away,

I won't be alright

Even if the sun crashes into us

I won't let go, I won't let go

And I can be your light

Stay with me tonight

I won't let go, I won't let go

Yeah

Now you say you're leaving California

Maroon 5 - "Leaving California"

************************************

Naomi was fidgety as she sat on the plane, thanking the heavens that she was alone. The thought of calling Joshua had crossed her mind more than twice, but she resisted. She had been away from him before for a day, but it seemed, now that their bond was deeper, she just couldn't stomach having to spend a night not wrapped up in his arms. She cursed silently under her breath as she stood in her first class flight, and walked to the bathroom for the fourth time. She looked into the mirror and shook her head with a small laugh-- she was being ridiculous! She didn't make attachments, but Joshua was beginning to change her, everything about her. Naomi splashed water on her face and dried it before walking back to her seat, and pulling her laptop on her lap. She hadn't written in what felt like forever, and she had so many things she wanted to express, especially since the night she spent with Joshua.

The past two days have been spent with him, and I could not have asked for anything better. He was sweet and gentle, and when I was out of line, he quickly pulled me back. I think I need him. I think he keeps me leveled and he doesn't let me worry, which is a huge relief. He's... He's him and I cannot complain about anything. He makes me want to abandon all of my theories about love, but I'm protecting myself, at least for now until I figure out how I want to handle the situation. He takes care of me and assures me that if I want anything in the whole world, he can deliver, all it takes is one word, but I'm not interested in taking his life away. I just want him in whatever form I can get him, and now I'm starting to regret being so selfless. He has other things that I just know in my heart that he can excel in, and I don't want to come in between him and his dream. He's the first man who's ever touched me the way he does, and talked to me the way he does, and made me fall in love. I'm in love with him, but I'm not sure if I love him. He means everything and more to me, but I am terrified of saying that I love him because once I do, I am officially attached, and I know once I say those three words, taking up his offer will seem like more and more of a possibility for me.