Talent

Where were you?

Pov Dipper

I-It's monday and I'm still a bit messed up. I still can't believe he did that to me. I thought I knew him better than that. I guess I was wrong, he ended up being a huge jerk.

He was trying to apologize to me before and after class and Sunday. I didn't want to accept his apology because I thought he knew better. I felt like his little head wanted the illusion of me actually enjoying that. The reality didn't come in his mind that I am a living person and I have feelings too.

I didn't feel like a person when he did that to me. I felt like I was being hold by a lock and chain, that I couldn't break free. I was some type of toy, just an object waiting to be used and then discarded.

Now I kind of understand how my sister feels. She told me stories that guys just wanted to use her. I didn't understand her feeling until now.

Now I know that some men aren't men. They're just desperate people wanting to feel like a man but not really learning that title.

I don't want to feel like a toy, I want to feel like an actual person. I want to be able to choose someone that I know that won't hurt me, now I'm just questioning my feelings about everything.

I feel like if I open myself up that someone will just use me. They'll just use me for the pathetic one of there games, there a little white lies. Telling you one minute "they love you" or "I'll never hurt you." Then the other minute it's over.

I know a relationship has a bumpy roads. We can get into fights time to time and then forgive each other, we can laugh and smile and then we cry.

We say stupid things and then regret them later, we can forgive each other. The other person holds you tight and tell you "it's okay you didn't mean that, you were just upset"

My mom told me something that I keep in my mind. "We didn't have a choice to be this ethnicity, we didn't have a choice to be male or female, but don't ruin the only choice you have. Love."

It's true that I didn't have a choice to be human, it wasn't my choice for me to be a male, what's my choice to choose who I love.

We kind of don't have choices, we have a little of them. For the ones we do have control over, we have to make them count.

I'm going to use for my choices wisely actually two. When the bell rang I went up to Alex.

"I thought you were going to ignore me." Alex said.
" I wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry for slapping you, you didn't do anything wrong. I was just stupid, but I didn't agree with your choice that you made on Saturday. I forgive you but I'm not going to forget what you did. My mother once told me this we didn't have a choice to be this ethnicity, we didn't have a choice to be male or female, but don't ruin the only choice you have. Love."
" I'm still kind of upset at you about what you did, but I still forgive you. I just wanted you to know that I felt like a toy, an object just waiting to be discarded after you're done with me. I'm human too and so are you, you have feelings, you have reactions, friends, family. I'm using one of my choices wisely. I believe that even though we have little of them, we have to make the ones that we have control over to count the most." I said.
" I'm sorry for overreacting, I'm sorry that I made you upset to make you do that choice that you did last night. I-I just wanted you to know, see ya." I smiled.