One Way Bridge

Sightseeing talks

Raphael lands gently on the edge of a rock .We are currently a couple of miles out of town seated on some sort of mountain in the woods over looking an old cottage that seems to be floating on water except for the wooden dork that leads to it . The sun's rays aren't that bright but its enough to make his wings glitter like diamonds behind us as he uses them as an umbrella to shield us from the son.
"What did you want to talk about ?" His tone is back to cold.
" Last night ." I say trying not to let it bother me .
"What about it ?" He deadpans.
"Did you do it just to stop feeling guilty about being mad at me ?" I finally get his attention because he glances at me .
"Do what ,Sam?" So we are back to real name terms huh?
"Act all sweet and cuddly with me ." He shuts his eyes and I know he is mad .
"It's not always about you Sam?" He says lowly but those words are the harshest ones I have ever had .
"I am not saying it is." I try to shrug the hurt away .
"Yes, you are . That's the problem with all of you . You all think I am some kind of rock .But am not . I have feelings like you too . I am human too . Will you at least try to put that into consideration just once? " His voice cracks and I immediately wish I hadn't brought this up .I recoil from him . Pushing away .He stands up.
"I do." I try to convince him but he won't listen to me .
"If you did you would know that whatever happened last night was real. That I meant each and every word . You'd believe me. Trust me ."
"How am I supposed to do that when your mood shifts as much as the English weather ?It's hard to keep up , Raphael .  "
" Your mood too would be unstable if you have spent your whole life longing for someone you could call your own and when you find her..she acts like you don't matter ."
"What do you mean by that ? I do care about you ."
"No you don't !" He shouts at me ."I am not stupid ."
" Is this about Seth?"
"Who else would it be about ?You are my mate you are supposed to.." I cut him off and spring to my feet.
"Supposed to do what ?_push him away ?Hit him ?Allowed you to fight each other to death? Tell me Raphael .What on earth was I to do to your brother ?" I turn away from him and run my fingers through my hair .
"You think you don't matter to me because I let your brother look at me ..." I exhale in disbelief tears stinging my eyes.
"Sam..." He trails off. I turn to him.
"No!no! You made your point . I am a self centred self absorbed freak who is unfeeling towards you . But at least I would do anything not to see the people I care about hurt ." I pause .
" And for the record you qualify as one of those ." I sink back to the ground and state out into the horizon .
He sits down next to me . The tension in the air is so  thick I could slice through it .
"I just don't know why he hates me so much ." he says after a while.
" It's called jealousy ." I don't know why I reply but I do .He glances at me .
"Why would he be jealous of me ?"
"Can't you see it Raphael?  You are everything he is not and you have a big heart ."
" A heart that feels pretty empty and useless right now ." It's my turn to glance over at him . He is starring at the horizon as if looking for answers in the sky. His long eye lashes batting lightly .
"I just hurt the one person who has no reason to care about a stranger like myself but still does . That is my greatest loss ." My heart starts beating rapidly again.
" And I don't know if she will ever forgive me but I will leave that for her to decide .I am not worth it anyway .Never was." He looks down and pulls out a weed that is growing next to him .
"Why don't you ask her ?" I suggest confidently . Heat rising up my cheeks again .
"Will you ever forgive me this wrong ,Bella?" He turns to me and suddenly I am starring straight at the most beautiful view in the world .
"The only thing I will never forgive is your betrayal .And you haven't betrayed me yet ." I give him an honest answer .
"Then may my soul be forever doomed if the thought ever crosses my mind ." His eyes drop to my bottom lip and I want him to kiss me desperately but I know that will not be happening today when he gets up and says ,
" The clouds are starting to gather . We should be getting back . I don't want you getting a cold ."
Darn it .
I curse the rain . May be you will be devoured some other time dear lips.
I mentally console my self .
You can be so damn sometimes.
My mind insults me. I smile to myself as he helps me up .