should i be here | bts.

| 14 |

I woke up comfortably in Jungkook's arms and stared at his unbelievable beauty. It's so crazy how I'm here with him.

I brushed his messy hair from his face and put my hand down on his cheek. I closed my eyes and lay there until I could feel a warm breath that was closer than before. I opened my eyes to see Jungkook wide awake and staring back at me when I opened my eyes. He got closer to me and his soft lips touched mine and I had my eyes opened with shock and pushed away from him and rolled out of the bed. No matter how right it felt, I can't be with him. There's such an age gap.

I sat on the floor breathing heavily.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking." He paused and leaned over the side of the bed, "I just. You're so perfect."

"What the fuck? You just- I what?" I stood up and brushed myself off so we were facing each other again and I looked Jungkook straight in his eyes and kissed him again. This can't be real.

Why did I do that?

He's so much older than me.

What the hell?

"Oh, uhh. I'm sorry." I shook my head and turned pink. "I just- didn't want this to be real. There's such an age gap between us and my parents would never agree to this becoming a thing; and neither would the band." My heart shattered when I said that. He ran his hand through his hair. "It's not that I don't feel that way about you, it's just that I don't want to ruin our careers and friendship; plus we share a room. And I do love you." I do love Jungkook in a boyfriend way but I can't be with him.

"But your eastern age isn't that big of a gap, you're 14 according to the way I grew up." I sat next to him on the bed and laid my head on his shoulder.

"That's 7 years Kookie." I grabbed his hands with both of mine "I wish I could, maybe we could be a bit more than best friends but nothing beyond that until we're for sure ready." I smiled at him and he nodded. He seemed heartbroken. And I did it. I was his first heartbreak. I gave him a peck on the cheek and stood in front of him and cupped his face in my hands and stared into his doe-like eyes and smiled.

"You know I'll always love you and I know I've said this many times, but it's true." I pulled him into a hug and he pulled me onto his lap and sat like that for a couple of minutes. After I pressed a kiss on his forehead and went to go get ready for our last day in Las Vegas and go back to do our comeback show in Korea.

Throughout the day, Jungkook and I had been close but distant enough the members wouldn't suspect anything. I had to go to the bathroom and Jungkook suggested he went with me.

"Kookie, you don't have to come with me I'm 13." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Mmm. 14." He argued with me over my age.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Did you know you have a really pretty smile?" He complimented me as my smile grew a bit bigger.

"No, I didn't. Thank you." We got to the bathroom and Jungkook tried to follow me in.

"Uhhh, women's restroom hyung." I clicked my tongue and gave him a smile. He frowned like a little kid. "I'll be right back. Just hold on." I went to the bathroom and washed my hands after going to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. 'Am I really going to accept being a 'thing' with Jungkook?'