..... It's Impossible To Return (The Official Part Two Of OYGH)

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1 year later. . . .

Kyra-


I sat in my Spanish class, listening to my professor explain the difference between Castilian Spanish and Latin American Spanish. Although my grade depended on me knowing all this, I couldn't concentrate. As my teeth dug into my ink pen, I contemplated where I would be spending my summer break. I've been in school for a whole year now and finals are right around the corner. I'm pretty confident that I'll pass, seeing as I've been on the dean's list since day one, so that was the least of my worries. My main focus now was where I would be staying until next semester starts. I couldn't go back home. Leaving home left a bitter taste in my mouth. That whole day was just full of foul attitudes and words gone unsaid. After graduation, I walked to the bus stop and caught a bus home. When I got there, I packed up all my shit and called RJ. I had nobody else to turn to and he was my last hope. But he didn't pick up his phone. I called him a total of 23 times and left 10 voicemails. He ignored every single one. So I decided to say fuck him, I'd just have to find my own way. I called a cab and put as much as I could into the trunk and back seat and had the driver drop me off at a hotel downtown. I used the emergency credit card that James (I don't call him daddy anymore) had given me and rented a room for about a month until I could go to school and move into my dorm. He tried calling me numerous times but, like RJ did to me, I ignored all his calls. I didn't bother listening to his voicemails. And when he tried to track me down, I would just keep changing hotels. I didn't care to hear him scream at me anymore. I even spent my 18th birthday by myself in my hotel room. That was probably the saddest day of my life. I cried all day and refused to eat. Then that's when I made myself forget about everybody. I made a vow that everybody who looked down on me in my past had no place in my future. Back then I was just a teenage girl who needed some guidance. When it all came down to it, I was missing my mom and I needed somebody to make me realize that. I became obsessed with sex because it was the ultimate act of intimacy, extreme closeness. And I lacked that. My mother was my very best friend. We were beyond close. And because her closeness was missing from my life, I found a different outlet and it just so happened to be sex. But I know all this now and I've changed. Yeah, I'm still having sexual urges, that's a part of being young and single. But I'm now in control of my urges. I still haven't had actual vaginal sex yet and the only person I've ever given head to is still RJ, but that doesn't stop me from gettin head myself. Niggas been all over me ever since I stepped foot on campus. Especially now that I'm slightly more mature looking than I was last year. My hair is longer and brown with auburn streaks instead of all black now, and I gained some weight but in all the right places. My ass is colossal and my chest is bigger. My stomach is still flat though. I'm what you would call thick. I think I even got a little bit taller. All in all, I'm a different person. I'm not the weak little Kyra that existed last year. The Kyra that existed last year thought she was tough but really wasn't. Last year I thought I knew what I was doin, I thought I could handle myself. But I've learned since then. I've learned how to really have shit on my terms and be in control of my life, no matter what anybody thinks or has to say. I left my past where it was and I have no intention of going back, even if that means I never see my so-called family ever again. James was foul for talking to me the way he did, and so was Rex. De'Ava too. De'Andre can kiss my ass and so can his little bitch Nicole. I really don't even know if they still talk but honestly I don't give a fuck. I still talk to Mia from time to time, it's mostly awkward phone convos, same with Asia. She got over bein mad at me for using her as an alibi for when I did shit with RJ, but I still had a hard time lookin at her the same. I mean she was right with my dad and them when they was talkin to me like some fuckin animal. Hell, I wouldn't even talk to an animal the way they were talkin to me that day. But hey, it's all in the past right?

"Psst! Mami!" I heard somebody whisper in my direction. I looked to the left and my eyes landed on Luis, my bestie/friend with benefits. I kinda already knew it was him. Mami was his exclusive nickname for me. He was Puerto Rican with blue-ish green eyes and juicy lips that he sure as hell knew how to use. But we only messed around very seldom. He was more of a best friend than a fuck buddy.

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