Beat your heart out [Crowen fanfic]

Chapter 18 - Freeze you out

They hit you out of nowhere. When bad things come, they come suddenly, without warning. We rarely get to see the catastrophe coming, no matter how well we try to prepare for it.

2 weeks later

📍Paris - Cristina's apartment

Cristina's POV - 23 weeks pregnant

I was in front of my wardrobe and I was wondering what I was going to wear. I had already tried on several T-shirts but they all became too small. So I decided to wear my favourite T-shirt, a black T-shirt, which had always been a little loose. But it didn't fit anymore either.

Me - Holy crap ! Even this damn t-shirt doesn't fit me anymore because I've become so fat !!

Owen - Cristina, what's happening ?

Me - What's going on is that I've always been thin and now I look like a cow !

Owen - Hey, calm down, it's okay.

Me - No, I don't want to calm down !

Owen - It is our baby, who is growing inside your belly, can't you just be happy about that ?! I mean...Cristina, are you happy ? 'Cause it looks like you're not !

Me - I AM TRYING OWEN ! I'M TRYING AND I'M DOING MY BEST DON'T YOU SEE THAT ?!!

Owen - MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY MORE !

My eyes filled with tears, I felt like I was going to break down and cry but I held my feelings back.

Me - ...Fine.

Owen - No, Cristina...no, that's not what I meant...

I put on one of the only sweat I had that still fit and slammed the door.

Owen - Cristina !

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Owen's POV

I didn't follow her because she probably needed to be alone for a while. But I still went to the window to see where she was leaving. She was just sitting on a bench in the building's courtyard, her head in her hands.

I felt so guilty for saying that to her. I really didn't mean to say that, because I know this is all a big change for her, and I know she did that for me, because she loves me. I'm such an idiot. Instead of supporting her and showing her that I love her I'm yelling at her whereas she's afraid. But I love her, with all my heart, and all my soul, and all my body, and every breath I breathe. She's my soulmate.

I was going to leave her alone for a few minutes and then I'll be joining her.

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📍Paris, the building's courtyard

Cristina's POV

I sat on the bench and I burst into tears. How could he say that ?! He knew very well that our life...MY life would change forever. It's not that I wasn't happy, it's just...I was so freaking scared, I knew my career as a surgeon will never be the same with a baby. But at the same time, I had already won an Harper Avery and I really loved Owen even if I was mad at him right now. Plus, it was my baby and even if I wouldn't admit it, I already loved her and I cared about her.
It would be a new challenge for me, to be a amazing surgeon and an amazing mom.

I heard footsteps, it was Owen. I dried my tears and looked at him.

Owen - Cristina, I wanted to apologise, I should never have said that to you, I didn't think what I said. I'm so sorry.

Me - No, it's me, I overreacted.

Owen - No, no it's not you, you did so much for me and you're scared because it's new for you, and I...I didn't stand with you because I was ecstatic 'cause I was going to be a father.

He sat down next to me, put his arm around me and I couldn't help but rest my head on his chest.

Owen - Do you forgive me ?

Me - Of course I forgive you.

Owen - You know what ?

Me - What ?

Owen - This afternoon, we'll go to the mall to get you new clothes and some stuffs for the baby.

Me - But I don't really like shopping.

Owen - Cristina...

Me - Yeah...Yeah sorry. Forget what I said, we're going to the mall.

Owen - Thank you. Let's go back inside, it's a little cold.

He got up and offered me his hand. I smiled and took it.

And I know you were worth it
And I know this gonna work if
I could only let you win
But I'm freezing
I'm not running away
I'm not running away
I will feel the pain and stay
I'm not running again
I'm not running again
Even though I'm scared, baby.