OO-RAH!

Chapter 25

When I had gotten back to the hospital, Jeff was in the room with Daisy. He looked remorseful and she looked exhausted in every way possible. I saw their lips moves but couldn't hear the words from behind the tiny, thin window in the the room door. I figured Jeff was still talking to Daisy about everything, so I decided to go back down to the NICU nursery and see Bailey some more. This was something Daisy needed to do on her own.

When I get to the nursery window, Bailey is till in her incubator. I still can't get over how small she is. You don't really understand the whole pregnancy thing until it either happens to you, or you're a circumstance like Daisy and give birth too early. Bailey was so small, so fragile. Her limbs were so skinny, and her fingers and toes so tiny. The newborn sized diaper she had on looked huge on her small hips, and her head look so heavy for being so small. I wonder if she was cold? Could she hear anything? See anything? Did she know she was out of the womb?

As I stared at my itty bitty niece in her incubator, mentally asking myself questions that not even a doctor could explain, I thought about what it was going to be like when she got bigger, when her body was mature enough to come home. Would she still need the tubes? What about medication? Would she be a prescription baby for the rest of her life? I read about pre-me's having health problems when they're older, varying from small things like a weak immune system to greater things like scoliosis or even cerebral palsy. Would she have health issues like that? My mind just kept racing a million miles a minute with questions. Now would've been a time I would talk to someone because I needed answers. But one person I'd normally talk to is currently discussing who knows what with their ex-boyfriend/ baby daddy, and the other one is gone live who knows where doing who knows what. And then to top it off, Chase was stationed away over seas still. Chase. I suddenly realized that I hadn't written him a letter yet since receiving his last one. It was just another letter keeping me updated on what the guys did that day. Nothing exciting, or something too private that he couldn't tell me about. It was the same thing over and over again, but I didn't mind because I was still talking to him.

I walked over to a lady the near by desk and asked for clipboard, paper, and a pen. She handed them to me and I took a seat in a nearby chair, and began writing.

'Dear Chase,

These past few days haven't exactly been pleasant. On January 21st, something terrifying and something miraculous happened to us. Daisy had gone out to get her pregnancy vitamins from the pharmacy that night, and was gone for at least an hour. I eventually got a phone call from the hospital, saying that Daisy had gotten into a car accident. There was a driver that lost control of his truck out of nowhere and was unable to stop when approaching the intersection. He smashed right into Daisy's side of the car and caused her to spin out of control, nearly sending her into a ditch. I was so terrified that I didn't stop crying until the next day.

When we got to the hospital, the doctor said that Daisy was going to make it out fine. She only had a dislocated shoulder and a broken ankle and a concussion, but there was so much force in the impact that it caused damage to amniotic sack and forced the doctors to perform an emergency C-section on Daisy. Both are alive an well.

On January 21st, at 10:47 pm, Daisy gave birth to a 33week old baby girl. She's a whopping 4 pounds even, and is 13.5 inches long. She was born two months early, so they had to transfer the baby to the NICU and have her in an incubator, attached to all these machines that are helping her breath and keeping her tiny little heart beating until she's strong enough to do it on her own. She's really tiny, and really beautiful. She's such a small little fighter, and I can't wait for you to meet her when you come home. Her name is Bailey Grace Alistair-Miller. Grace is in honor of mine and Daisy's mother.

Daisy's ex boyfriend and the father of her child was notified about her's and Bailey's conditions, and he flew here from New York, claiming that he never stopped caring about her. It's a really long story, and one that I'd rather not write about for the sake of my hand. Just know that they're currently talking about it all, as civilized as possible. And if you think that's bad, it only gets worse. Billie-Mae was beginning to create an alcohol addiction. For months, I've been finding liquor bottles more and more empty than before, she was constantly drunk and hungover, and sleeping all the time. I confronted her about it as calmly and as strictly as I could, but I only made it worse. We screamed at each other, and she blamed me for her alcohol abuse. I told her to either get it together while she still could, or get out. So, she left.

I'm not really sure as to why God feels the need to constantly take the people I care about the most away from me. First my parents, then my sister, then you, then almost my sister again, and now Billie-Mae. I don't know if I really am at fault for her abuse, or if that's just a side effect from the drinking. I honestly don't know to do anymore in general. I feel like I'm slowly falling apart, and every time I catch a break I end up trampled over again. Please come home soon. I'm going crazy without you.

Love,
Hayden"

I clicked the pen closed and wished I had my perfume with me. Not having an envelope, I folded the letter and stuffed it on my back pocket. I make my way back to my sister's room, where thankfully, her and Jeff were done talking. In fact, Jeff was passed out on the same chair I slept on last night. Daisy, however, was awake and looking at. There wasn't a sign of either care or regret on her face, she was blank.

"Hey. How'd it go?" I whisper. Daisy looks at me and offers me a weak smile before glancing back at Jeff. He had his head propped on his arm, his body slouched forward.

"He explained everything to me, Hayden. Part of me wanted to believe him, but part of me just isn't so sure." She says. "He wants to be apart of her life so bad. But how can I guarantee my daughter that pleasure, when he's miles and miles away in a different state?" She asks me. I smile and walk over to her, patting her hair back away from her face.

"I think you need to think about how Bailey will feel about this 15 years from now. You don't want her to hate either of you, and that she knows she's loved equally by the both of you." I tell her. "A child needs a father, Daisy. Don't jeopardize that opportunity for Bailey while you're still able to fix it." Daisy smiles up at me and pats my hand on her head.

"Since when did you start becoming a mom?" She tease. I don't laugh though, but tense up instead. It brought back a shivering memory of my argument with Billie-Mae. "Hayden? Are you okay?" Daisy asks. I bite my lip in hesitation, but decided it was best to tell Daisy the story of mine and our cousin's argument.

"I never even noticed." Daisy said, her eyes wide. "I feel so terrible."

"I do, too." I say. "But maybe it's for the best. I mean, she can't be like that around the baby when she comes home." I say.

"Yeah, you're right. I just wished I noticed sooner. It probably would've been a lot less ugly." She says. We stay silent for a moment before my sister chimes in again. "I'm not gonna get lawyers involved."

"For Bailey?" I ask. She nods her head and turns back to Jeff who was still asleep.

"You're right. A child does need both parents. And however we decide to share custody will just have to work. I'll make it work. For my daughter's sake." She says.