Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

20. If Only I can Forget as Well

"I..."

"It's okay."

Ralus's words had a special effect on me, causing me to turn around to face the almost naked body of Loriana. I gulped as I eyed her body with what I would believe to be lust in my eyes, which led to me fantasizing about what I would do if I were given free reign over her body.

"It's totally fine," Ralus continued his whispering, which gradually became clearer and clearer, almost as if it was no longer coming from the other end of the phone but directly from his mouth to my ear. "The divine is on your side, Alevian. You can do whatever you want and it'll be fine because we said so."

"It'll...be fine?" I repeated almost maniacally as if I was influenced by some type of cult ritual.

"Just do it."

Ralus's voice slowly drove me to walk back over to Loriana's bedside, where I fell onto my knees as I brought my face closer to her body. From here, I can smell the aroma of her body, which intoxicated me.

"She'll forgive you for what you've done anyways the next morning," Ralus whispered into my ear. "She'll always forgive you. Just like that last time she did so when she took you in."

I recalled the incident that Ralus mentioned, and a sudden fear gripped my heart as I remembered what I had done back then.

"I..." I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I remembered.

"Right," Ralus said in his calm and soothing voice. "Do you remember? Four years ago, when your father had died and you have no where to go, Loriana took you in. Back then, she was in a relationship with someone, and because of you, she ended that relationship. She neglected her boyfriend and chose to be with you over him. But the problem is this: Loriana had truly loved her then lover."

Ralus's every word clawed at my heart. It was almost as if he knew exactly what to say to stop me from thinking.

"You know it too did you?" Ralus continued on. "But because of your selfishness, they broke up. And ever since that, Loriana has not truly smiled, did you ever notice that?"

I did...

"Even though you did that, she still forgave you. Not only did she continued to provide for you, she even celebrates your birthday with you. She accompanies you when no one else does, even after you ruined her happiness. You know the two were originally about to be engaged? But she chose you over him. Therefore, you know Loriana will forgive everything that you do."

"...She will?" I asked.

His words were an anesthesia for my brain. It numbed my senses and my ability to reason, which prompted me to fall victim to my lust.

I edged closer to the bed and put my face against the back of her hand. I took a deep breath, taking in her pleasant aroma which stimulated my body even more. Slowly, I crawled up the bed until my upper body was hovering over hers. Directly in front of me was her breasts, and they were so close that if I had stuck out my tongue I would've probably been able to make contact.

"You want to play with those?" Ralus asked. "I know you do. You're just a boy after all. Go ahead. They're all yours tonight."

"They are?"

With trembling hands, I dropped my phone on the ground and brought both hands up to Loriana's breasts and gently laid them down. I realized that her breasts were of a size that my hands were not able to cup them in their entirety. In addition, that was the first time I realized how soft and smooth a woman's breast were.

My breathing intensified as I felt something protruding from underneath her bra. Slowly, I lifted my hands up into the air and stared at the two protruding points, one on each breast, that was concealed by her purple laced bra.