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Facepalm Moments From The Last Year

So in the whole school year, I've collected some of the best things said by classmates and teachers at school. Enjoy the stupidity of my peers. (Some of these aren't from school but I'll include them anyway)

Girl: "whats a heterosexual?"

Teacher: "take out your notes"

Student: "are you forcing your morals on me!?"

Teacher: "You don't have drugs under the table do you?"

Student: "I have large amounts of crack cocaine"

Teacher: "You're such a snowflake"

Student: "sexy"

Student: "What did God do before he made everything?"

Teacher: "I don't know, he played checkers with the Trinity"

Girl 1: "oh no the last white rhino died"

Girl 2: "oh whatever"

Girl 1: ....

Girl 2: "dude, chill"

Girl 1: *honestly the the expression on her face was so full of murder i laughed out loud*

Guy: "I need to go to the bathroom"

Teacher: "no."

Guy: "I'm on my period"

Conversation I had with a couple:

Me: "I had to be here for parental supervision"

Girl: "Like we'd just have sex right in front of you."

Me: "yeah..........."

Girl: "we'd probably ask you to join in"

Me: "Yeah no I wouldn't enjoy that I'm demi"

Girl in English class: "ugh this is my lowest class :("

Teacher: "Wait what's your grade"

Girl: "97"

😐😐😐

Substitute: "Mr. -Teacher I Don't Like- is very sick today"

Me: "oH nO wHaT a TrAgEdY"

*During role*

Substitute that was from my old school and is also awful: *says my name*

Me: *hope she doesn't recognize me* "here"

Substitute: "You look different what changed. It it your hair."

Me: "um it's longer" *doesn't want people to know I straighten my hair*

Substitute: "Well you look older"

Dude 1: "What is the person who talks to the dead?"

Dude 2: "Oh that's a narcissist"

Guys: *talking about incest and laws in America about marrying family members*

Guy: "So my mom's cousin is game?"

At dinner, family is talking about Bambi. They talk about how the boy skunk's name was Flower.

Me: *fistpumps* "YEAH! DOWN WITH GENDER STEREOTYPES!!! WHOOO YOU GO DISNEY!!"

Family: *silence* 😒😑😐

Me: 😯😕😓

Teacher: "According to Jehovah's Witnesses, Jesus was supposed to come back and in 1843. When he didn't, it was called "The Great Disappointment""

Student: "That's my parents nickname for me!"

My class: *Can't comprehend the fact that there's no sexual attraction in heaven*

Working with toddlers in church nursery, things I had to say:

"I don't think the baby wants to be in the fridge"

"Why did you take Bob's pants off?"

Child: "you- your- it- why your- your head... big"
Me: "Yes my head is big, I've been growing it for a while"

Teacher: "There's no sexual attraction to anybody [in heaven]"

Girl: "Well I'll be the first."

So my Bible teacher got handcuffed to an atheist for a video and one girl in my class shouted in disbelief "DID YOU SLEEP TOGETHER!?!"

*discussion during my Bible class about transgender people.*

Guy: "It's wrong."

Bible teacher: "Why is it wrong?"

Guy: "Cuz it's not right."

Quiz in English: "what do the dark and flabby leaves represent?"

Me: "They represent darkness and... flabbiness."

*silence*

*silence*

Guy in back: "dirty pillows"

*continued silence*

*watching a video about Buddha's birth*
Guys:"Oh my God she slept with the elephant!?"

*naked baby*
Guys:"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!"