anon // newtmas au

chapter fifteen

     Thomas sat down at the lunch table on Monday, trying to pretend everything was okay. He pretended that he didn't just have his heart smashed and spit on. He pretended that the spot next to him didn't feel so goddamn empty without Newt's wheelchair taking it up. He pretended that he could sleep without crying and hugging his pillow, the warmth of it not even coming close to the blonde boy.

     He looked up at all his friends, every single one of them staring at him.

     "What?!" Thomas snapped, feeling irrational anger bubble up in his chest.

     "Thomas," Minho whispered softly. "Newt's gone. He moved three hours away, with his dad."

     Thomas felt the entire world stop. All the voices in the cafeteria droned out. His friends faces blurred. He felt like he wasn't even in his body. Newt was gone. He wasn't just gone from Thomas' life, he was gone from the town, the school, their friend group.

     "I-I uh..." Thomas trailed off not even knowing what to say. His chest just hurt and he wanted to be home.

     "He didn't tell anyone, I went to his house last night and he wasn't there. His mom told me, it was her idea, not Newt's. She thought it would be good for him to be away for a while."

     Thomas leaned his head on his hand, staring down blankly at his lunch tray. "Why should I care?"

     "Because you love him."

     "Yeah well he doesn't feel the same. He could go fuckoff to Alaska for all I care." Thomas shoved his chair back harshly and stood up, grabbing his backpack and storming out of the cafeteria.

     He took shaky breaths as he walked down the hallway. Newt didn't want him, why should he care where he is? They were over, done, exs. Exs weren't supposed to care about each other.

     Thomas dropped down in the hall, sliding his back against the wall until he was sitting. He knew someone would probably find him and give him detention but at this point that was the least of his worries. He dropped his head between his knees again, trying to shut the world out. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was not going to cry at school. He pulled at his hair, trying to ground himself. He wanted Newt. He wanted a boy who pushed him away and it fucking hurt.

     "Hey Thomas?" a soft voice asked from above him. Thomas looked up quickly, his chest tightening when he saw it was Sonya.

    "I'm sorry," Thomas immediately said, his lower lip trembling.

     Sonya sat next to him, putting her hand on his knee and lightly squeezing. "Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about."

     Thomas could feel the tears building up in his eyes. "Sonya?"

     "Yeah Thomas?"

     "He broke my heart."

     Then Thomas was sobbing and Sonya was hugging him. She rubbed his back and let him cry on her shoulder.

     "Thomas, no one has ever loved my brother as much as you did. You made him so happy."

     "Why'd he leave me then?" Thomas asked, his voice cracked and muffled in Sonya's shirt.

     "I don't know Thomas," Sonya said softly, continuing to rub Thomas' back. "He never told me anything. I didn't even know he was leaving until Dad showed up in the driveway yesterday."

     Thomas lifted his head and sniffling loudly. "I'm sorry I just cried on you like a baby...did they send you out here?"

     Sonya nodded. "It was a debate over who should follow you. They voted me best to give you advice on my brother."