One Thousand Miles

Lauren: Part One

One Thousand Miles

Chapter  |  Lauren

Part  |  One

The car was silent, but that was a good thing because I really needed some time to think about what Chuck just told me. I knew there were probably other girls before I came along, but I didn't think he was abusive towards them too. Well just Lauren so far. I didn't know if there were others before her that Chuck probably didn't know about, but I sure hope not. 

I felt so bad for both Lauren and Chuck. I felt bad for Lauren because of the abuse John had put her through. Physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse. That's more than what John is putting me through. Tonight when I found out who Lauren was and actually looked into her eyes, I noticed the sadness and fear that was left behind.

It sucked that Chuck had to go through whatever he was going through with Lauren. I mean I felt bad that he had to be the one to fix that poor broken girl all because of John's actions. I could tell he was really in love with Lauren just by the sound of his voice when he spoke about her. When I first met Chuck at John's congratulations party four years ago I thought he was the type of man who wasn't capable of loving someone. To be honest I thought he was just a drunk nobody. Tonight after hearing about his past I came to the conclusion that he was probably an educated guy with a lovely but broken wife. I somehow saw all of that even when I could tell he was slightly tipsy.

I sigh and look out the window as we fly down the almost empty highway. I was almost empty too. I was so close to being just like Lauren. Broken and fear filled with a dead baby.

I wonder if John even knew about Lauren's miscarriage. I could always ask him, but if he didn't know then he sure would know now. He'd probably be livid and that would be just a beating waiting to happen, so I just kept my mouth shut about that. 

"What are you thinking about Steph?"

I slightly jumped at the sound of John's voice and turned to look at him. I place my hand over my heart and let out a breath of air. "You scared me," I say as I look over at him with wide eyes. He just gives me this, "I'm waiting" stare, so I slowly put my hand down and turn in my seat so I'm facing him. "I was thinking about Chuck...and Lauren."

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye before he gaze goes back to the empty road. He scratches his slightly hairy chin before placing his hand back down on the steering wheel while clearing his throat. "Lauren's in the past, so you shouldn't have to worry about her and I don't think you'll be seeing Chuck's alcoholic ass anytime soon."

I sigh and join my hands together in my lap. I purse my lips and look down at my pale small hands. "Was there more before Lauren?" I ask softly. I look up at him and notice he's staring back at me with a confused look on his face. I clear my throat and look back down. "I mean...did you ever hurt the girls before Lauren and I?"

His eyebrows furrow and his lips go down. "Why does it even matter?"

I sigh. "Because I just want to know okay? John I thought I knew you, but ever since Chuck told me about Lauren I can't stop coming up with all these questions about what happened before us. I...I feel like I don't you as well I thought I did."

He groans before quickly looking at me then back at the road ahead of him. "Look, Lauren is the first I have ever laid a hand on and you are the last."

"Well will you ever stop?" I ask as I look over at him with tear filled eyes. "John I love you so much and you promised that you would---"

"I know what I promised you Stephy and I know I won't break that promise. I've just been stressed and angry at people at work over these past few years and I'm sorry for taking that anger out on you. I promise you I'll stop once this baby comes. I don't know it's like our little one has changed me Steph. He or she has made me realize that I can't afford to lose you because you are the most important thing to me Steph."

I look at him and flash him my white teeth. I laugh just as a sob leaves my mouth and tears fall down my face. "John you have no idea how happy I feel right now. I feel like we've gotten married all over again, but I feel like I now know the man I'm married to."

He smiles over at me before facing the road. "Well almost everything..."

I raise an eyebrow and wipe my tears away. "What do you mean?"

He sighs and turns off of the highway. He doesn't speak he's parked in a Taco Bell parking lot. I watch as he unbuckles his seat belt and turns toward me. "I want to tell you about Lauren. Chuck may have told you about what I was putting her through, but I think you should hear the details of what happened between us. Why we fell apart."

He let out a breath of air through his nose and began to speak. "It all started with a party."