Never Be Mine

Chapter 8

It has been a week since that party. I haven't talked to Landon that much but Aria has. They FaceTime a lot and talk a lot. He seems fine but but he is definitely not himself.

Aria says that she is friends with Landon and that is all. I know she is telling the truth but the only thing in my mind is that what does Landon think. Does he like Aria? I always brushed it off my mind but it always seems to creep in me.

He could just be nice and be a supportive friend towards Aria. Sometimes though there are moments that are questionable. I am just utterly confused about all of this.

I have a lot of things on my mind already. I don't really have time to reflect on what I think about it. I always ignore it or forget it. I don't tell anyone what I think and I go on with my busy life. I don't have time to sob and cry all day because of him. But not going to lie I sometimes do.

I get jealous sometimes. I never show it but I am. I put on a fake smile every time Aria says something that Landon did during their call. I don't want to say anything to her because Aria already has a lot of things on her plate. Adding my feelings will just heavy the plate even more.

Why do I even try? I can't change a damn thing. I can't change his thoughts. I know he went through a lot lately. But was he hiding his feelings. That he likes Aria.

Maybe I am being to over dramatic or I'm jumping to conclusions. If he likes Aria that way he would say it already. Would he?

For the last few months I just say he is a great friend. But I do feel jealous. And I shouldn't feel this way. Why? Is all I think.

Why do I like him even though he doesn't back? Why do I keep on trying even though it will only hurt me more? Why did I fall for someone that I didn't even have a chance? Why was I so stupid to think that I actually had a chance? I never did but I kept on liking him and it got worse each day.

He is my first crush you can't get over your first crush. Well it will take time. He doesn't like me Ashlyn. I keep on telling me trying to move on. But I can't . It only brings me down further. Why can't I move on and stop liking him? Why? He won't like me and he will never like me. He will never be mine.

A/N: A really short update but I feel like this is an important chapter for the character. Don't know when I am going to update again.

Also I love the song Jealous.....