I take a deep breath staring in the mirror. I take my self in, pretty but not drop dead gorgeous. Just enough to turn heads on the street. I had nice tan skin, some times in the summer is would get so dark people wondered if I was mixed. I look at my steep mom behind me braiding my hair. "Okay." She says letting my hair fall down my back. The golden brown waves falling around my shoulders. She had braided my bangs out of my face, not that it was going to do any good because not 10 minutes from now my hair was going to start working its way lose and sticking up all crazy like it does. Her voice is shaking and as I turn around to face her tears fill her eyes. I roll my eyes mentally because it was just a show she was putting on. Not a few hours from now (a day if I am lucky) her and my mom will turn on me again. I was lucky that they showed up today. She places my bridal crown on my head and when I look at myself my own emotions start to take over especially with her crying.
My own eyes start to water and I tell her, "It isn't happening yet and you are already crying. You're gonna make me cry." I smile at her and wipe under my eyes careful not to smudge my makeup. I didn't have much on, just some eye liner and lipstick. I didn't like a lot of make up I felt like it made me look like a whore. Plus, it was uncomfortable. I didn't know how those girls ran around with all that make up on. Especially in the summer, I would look like a melted crayon.
"You're so beautiful." She's still crying and pulling me into a hug. I hug her back and rub her back.
Mom comes and pulls her back."Okay, don't wrinkle her dress." Like this tight ass dress could wrinkle.
Mama smiles at me, "Are you nervous?"
I wanted to laugh. Nervous? Hell, I was shaking like a chihuahua and I thought I was gonna be sick. I nod my head. "Yes." My own voice was shaking now but not from being emotional. I was scared I was going to mess something up. I turn back around and listen to my parents telling me that it's going to be okay but I wasn't really paying attention. I couldn't believe it was time.
My dress was beautiful. White and lacy. It had a vintage touch to it. Just how I always wanted it to. I lifted it up and looked at my cowboy boots underneath and smiled to myself. She always called me sexy in my boots. I saw I was blushing from the thought and shook my head at myself. Five years and she still did this to me. I smoothed out wrinkles in my dress lost in my head. I was so happy. I was getting the girl of my dreams.
Mom comes up behind me and pulls my hands into hers. "Stop fixing invisible wrinkles only you can see." She says. I look around to see that Mama has already left. It must be close to time.
Goodness, I was going to be sick. My stomach turned. Mom looks at me intensely. "You know I don't agree with this." I nod my head. She had told me over over. She didn't believe in marrying your "high school sweetheart" as she put it. I didn't care I was going to do it anyways and she knew it. She sighs, "As long as you are happy." She looks at my necklace. "Aren't you going to take that off? It looks tacky."
My hand went to Daddy's ring that was on the necklace around my neck. He wasn't my father of course because mine was a piece of course, I never got the chance to meet him, he was May's father. She let me wear the ring. It was a symbol for me. I shake my head to Mom, whether she thought it was tacky or not I never took it off and I most definitely wasn't going to today. I didn't talk about it much but I hoped he was here with us to watch his daughter get married and bring another daughter into the family.
"Do you think her parents are going to show up?" This question made my stomach do a flip.
"I hope not. Her brothers are, of course. Her mom might show up. Honestly, I don't want either of them to come." I started to shake a little at the thought.
Mom looked at me with the I think you are stupid look. She shook her head. "You're stupid. You should have left her."
"I'm not stupid. I love her. Besides she 24 now, not 16." I replied curtly.
"You're an idiot." This is not the first time I heard this and it wouldn't be the last. I didn't care she had been calling me stupid and an idiot all my life along with beating me. She's lucky I let her come to the wedding at all.
"I am stubborn." This ended the conversation and I was glad. Mom must of knew I wasn't changing my mind. Of all the hell May and I went through to finally get this far was a blessing. We got through everyone else trying to tear us apart, breaking up and getting back together, and our crazy parents. The next step will be trying to get though trying to tear each other apart, but we seem to handle that okay now.
I take a breath, "We should start going. I don't want to miss seeing Celest with her flower petals." Mom shakes her head but doesn't argue. She didn't understand my special love for the girl, she saw her as May's niece not mine. Nevertheless, the girl was in my heart. I knew May understood. May always understood. It was one of the things that made her so amazing.
We walk through the field that lead to our small little gathering in the woods. I smile at my little witchy and spiritual touches I had placed around the area. The cool autumn wind blows at my dress and I hear it making the trees sigh. It was a beautiful day, nothing could be more perfect. Through the trees I see Celest in her pretty little lavender flower girl dress throwing the flower petals down in a clumsy kid like fashion. It was so adorable I hope someone had caught it on video. I hear the music start playing and that is my cue. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as Mom takes my arm.
