Boneca [Doll]

EPILOGUE

"Your health is more important. I'm the one who is sorry for not coming here earlier. I'm so sorry for what happened." She caressed her hair, telling her about the herbs she brought for her.

"It's fine. The pregnancy wasn't meant to be," Junko said, her mouth bitter, her eyes stung. "I never put any hope from the start."

But she lied. When she knew she was pregnant last month, she was so gratified. Something impossible had been a reality. But it was short-lived. Too short. She had a miscarriage five days ago. She was hoping to have a child with Luuk. He gave her everything she once dreamt about, but she couldn't even give him a child.

"Não diga isso. Você tem a chance de engravidar da próxima vez." [Don't say that. You have a chance to get pregnant next time.]

She nodded, too afraid to put another hope on himself. "Let's go in. Juliana is excited to meet you and the kids."

Benedita turned to Luuk. "I'll take him." Benedita took Christian from him and walked into the house.

"Hi, honey. How was the flight?" She hugged Luuk. The bergamot on his shirt calmed her discomfort.

"Hellish." Luuk kissed her with a long sigh. "I need to start teaching the kids manners." He clicked his tongue.

His face changed into panic when Junko laughed. He supported her when she leaned on him; her abdomen flickered in discomfort.

"Jesus, don't laugh. You'll hurt yourself. I wasn't being funny."

"It was the most ironic statement that had ever come out of your mouth." She inhaled deeply, trying hard not to laugh again.

"You should've been lying down. Don't walk too much. The house is big." He scanned her whole body. "It's December. Don't wear such flimsy cloth. Your legs are exposed. Jesus."

"You're worrying unnecessarily." She rested her head on his shoulder when her breath shortened. She had no experience with pregnancy and miscarriages, and maybe it was just her case, but her condition had not been improving much since last week. She was still bleeding heavily.

"You're my life. I'm entitled to worry all I want." He pulled her up into his arms.

Junko locked her arms around his neck. "Luuk! Let me down. Our family is here." Her face burned as Luuk strode into the house.

"It's okay. We're not seeing them." He passed the living room and climbed the bifurcated stairs. The last glimmers of the orange sun were seeping into the darkness.

"At least say hello or something." She pushed his elbows against his shoulders.

"I've said a thousand hellos to Alex in my lifetime." Luuk strode straight to their bedroom on the far right. "It's eight, and you need your rest."

Junko knew it was useless to say anything against it, so she kept her mouth shut until they reached the bedroom, snuggling against his neck. His body heat warmed her heart.

"You want any supper?" he asked as he put her down onto the tatami bed. "I'll bring supper here."

"Eu comi com julho há uma hora. Eu não preciso de jantar. Eu só preciso de você." [I've eaten with July an hour ago. I don't need supper. I just need you.] She pulled him into her arms. "Eu senti sua falta. Obrigado por buscar minha família." [I've missed you. Thank you for fetching my family.]

"Eles também são a minha família." [They're my family too.] He kneeled in front of her. "Seus irmãos são legalmente meus filhos. Eles têm o meu nome." [Your brothers are legally my children. They bear my name.]

"If only I could give you children too." The earlier sting in her eyes came back, and she broke out crying. "I'm sorry, Luuk. I'm sorry for losing your baby. I couldn't even-"

"Junko." He pushed her gently on his shoulders. Then he kissed her so deeply, she just wanted him to swallow her. His fingers trailed off to the sides of her neck. "Your blood flows through their veins. And they're your kids now. Our kids."

"I want your blood to flow through our children's veins. But I couldn't even give you a child. How-"

He pinched her lips. "You're young. I'll practically have my virility for at least fifty years more. We've plenty of years to try. Even if we end up not having kids, we still have ten dogs and Christian and Carlito. So stop saying unnecessary things."

"Thank you." She cried into his chest. "Thank you for not leaving me."

"You're a godsend. If anyone is leaving anyone, it's you leaving my ass."

She shook her head. "I love you, Luuk."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Their lips brushed together for less than a second before Christian ran into the room, followed closely by Carlito, shouting "Daddy Luuk!" all the way.

For some reason, the boys started calling Luuk Daddy. João had been behind jail for a year now. She could only assume that they missed having a dad. And she couldn't stop the jealousy coursing in her chest. Luuk got to be the father, but she was still their 'Sister'.

"Daddy! I want to follow Jules to his house! Uncle Alex bought us a car!" They jumped next to Luuk. Carlito kneaded his arm.

"Car? What car?" Luuk looked at him with raised brows.

"The quad ATV," Junko said. "Jules asked for it, so Alex bought them for the boys too."

"I see." Luuk smirked at her before he turned to the boys. "Sure. Give your sister a kiss, then you can stay there as long as you want, boys."

They peppered her face with kisses. Luuk grimaced when they kissed him too, but a small grin tugged at his lips. The kids flew out of the room.

He clicked his tongue as he rubbed his face with her short floral skirt. He stood and pulled off his shirt. "I wanna take a shower. Join me?"

She took off her pink diamond wedding ring and pulled off her mother's kanzashi. She took his hand, and he carried her in his arms again.

"You know I can walk myself." She rested her head on his collarbone.

"Keep your energy. You'll need it soon, baby."

In the span of three years knowing Luuk, every corner of her life had changed. And it's still changing. Sometimes, when she woke up in the morning and stared at the tattoo on Luuk's back, she needed to remind himself that this is not a dream.

That she is now a woman, and she is Luuk's wife.

How many changes she must go through for her to start believing how lucky she is to have Luuk in her life? Once he stepped into the ghost town she used to harbor in her, Luuk became the sun that lightened up every corner of her soul. He showed her a whole different world; the world she didn't even know existed. And looking into his crystal blue eyes, the future he's going to share with her is crystal clear too.

Luuk Smit is the guy who found her heart in the deep, atrocious hole dug by her father. Luuk Smit is the guy who has shown her that she's not her father's boneca for him to tinker with in Jona's image. The guy who has proven to her that love is valuable, but now she knows she doesn't need to pay for it.

And her?

She is Junko da Graça, a woman who is still struggling to let go of her fleeting guilt, who is still searching for liberation. But along the way, she found God in the form of love and an angel in the form of a man.

Or is it them who found her?