through the dark ➳ malik a.u

twenty two - searching

CL ICK  THE EXTERNAL LINK HELL YEAH 

(There's a kind of important authors note at the end so pls read)

When I woke up the first thing I noticed (besides my slight headache) was the overwhelming smell of a room that definitely wasn't mine and definitely belonged to a male, considering the strong scent of aftershave surrounding me. My hand ran over my face as I sat up and glanced around the room to the bed at the other side, which a mess of blond hair was peaking out over the top of the sheets. Confused, I squinted my eyes because I was definitely sure that I'd convinced Niall to go back to the party the night before. He'd protested, saying that he didn't wasn't to leave me alone while I was upset but I managed to convince him that I'd be fine and I wanted to be alone for a while and that I didn't want to ruin his night. Eventually he gave in and left. I didn't cry. Most of the time was spent lying on my back on Harry's bed thinking the night over. The argument with Zayn had sobered me up quite a bit, so it wasn't difficult to force my mind to shut up and let me sleep.

My phone buzzed twice, and I pulled it out from under the pillow to see I had a text from Lauren asking where I was and that she was back in the room. Quickly, I text her back saying that I'd explain when I got back. I took ten minutes quietly fixing myself up and trying not to look like I'd slept in last nights makeup and clothes even though that's exactly what I did. Niall had offered me clothes, but it just didn't feel right wearing someone elses clothes that didn't belong to Zayn. 

Zayn. 

The thought of him caused my stomach to twist in a way I didn't recognise, and that I wasn't quite sure whether it was a good feeling or a bad feeling. 

Just as I was opening the door to Nialls room to leave quietly, I heard my name being said quietly and turned around to find Niall sitting up in his bed. His hair was sticking out at random angles as he rubbed his eyes, a sight I would have found adorable if I wasn't still moping over what had happened the night before 

"Where are you going?" Niall asked with a loud yawn. 

"Back to my room, Lauren's wondering where I am."

"Oh, okay."

"Thanks for letting me crash here."

"It's not problem, it was the least I could do. You had to get out of there." 

Sighing, I glanced at the ground, "Yeah." 

"Well, yeah, uh... I'll see you at breakfast I guess." 

"You too." I responded awkwardly, before stepping out into the hallway. 

My thoughts started to wander to Zayn again, that's where they always seem to be nowadays. Maybe I did over react. Maybe I should have listened to him, heard him out. It seemed so petty, looking back. How I'd actually reacted. Especially when I saw how sincere Zayn had looked when he'd said he needed me. God, why did I have to mess everything up and run away at the slightest crack in any relationship. Nothing was ever going to be perfect. And, besides one other person from back home, Zayn was the only person who'd seemed to stay consistently in my life and actually fight for me. And just as I was starting to contemplate whether or not I should go on a search for Zayn, a voice interrupted me. 

"Wouldn't have pinned you as a walk-of-shame girl." Louis said, and I met his bright blue eyes which seemed to be judging me as I left the boys dorm in yesterdays clothes and we both knew I wasn't with Zayn. 

"Don't get all judgmental on me, I just slept over. I didn't have keys to my room." I explained.

Louis searched my face for a few seconds before seemingly deciding that I was telling the truth and that I wasn't a huge hypocrite. "Are you okay?" He asked with a sigh, taking a step closer to me.