through the dark ➳ malik a.u

thirteen - listing insecurities

When I woke the next morning, I felt disoriented and panicked for a second because I couldn't remember where I was. Then the events of last night came rushing back to me. Zayn kissing my neck before the party, then meeting Lilly, then Zayn kissing me again. Then me blocking him out again in the space of literally two seconds. God, Lauren was going to get a real kick out of this.

Due to my still half asleep state, it wasn't until I attempted to sit up that I realised there was a weight across my stomach holding me in place, and also on my left shoulder. My teeth pulled at my bottom lip as I realised it was Zayn. He couldn't have come back to the room much longer after I'd fallen asleep. I felt guilty; about falling asleep when he was out. The guilt disappeared and was replaced with embarrassment when it became apparent to me that Zayn was shirtless and most likely in only his boxers. His body was heavy against mine as I tried to struggle from him. As much as I would have loved to stay like that, it would have been weird if Zayn knew I'd purposely chose to lay with him and no doubt he'd tease me like fuck.

Carefully, I pushed the sheets down and started to carefully move his arm from across my stomach, then started to slide slowly away from his sleeping body. My body froze as he shifted, but luckily he never woke up. Instead he let out a sleepy groan and grabbed a pillow in my place and started hugging it to his body. He looked so adorable and peaceful, and I took a moment to look down and smile at him before I pushed myself from the bed. I stopped myself from turning to look at Zayn again as I walked to the shower since I knew I wouldn't be able to look away.

With the events of the night before still playing through my mind - mostly about Zayn making a move on me - I locked the bathroom door and stripped down. Was that even a move? Or was he just more drunk than he appeared? I didn't want to get my own hopes up; I knew that if I did it would probably end with me getting hurt. Maybe I just wanted Zayn to make a move on me. As much as I'd been denying it lately, my feelings for Zayn had considerably grown. Honestly, I didn't think that they were romantic in anyway and it was probably just because of the fact we'd became better friends recently.

There was still some tension to be felt in my bones, and the hot water began to relax me. Minutes later, I was stepping out of the shower and drying my body off. There wasn't a hair dryer in the room so I was left to brush through my hair with my fingers and let it dry naturally. My underwear was pulled on followed by Zayn's clothes again, and I left the steamy bathroom while pulling my wet hair over one shoulder.

A small smile appearing on my lips, I paused to admire Zayn in his angelic sleeping state. His lip pouted out slightly as he slept, and his hair was tousled across his forehead.

"Take a picture it'll last longer." He murmured all of a sudden, causing me to jump.

"Shit, Zayn!"

I watched as he smirked at my reaction, his eyes still closed and his arms still holding the pillow tightly against his body. "What time is it?"

"About ten thirty."

"I'm awake at ten thirty on a fucking Sunday? Are you fucking kidding me?" He groaned, rolling onto his back so that his full - topless - torso was on display for me to admire. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from moaning at the sight of his tattoos. I'd always found them attractive, but they looked so amazing on Zayn's perfect, olive skin tone.

"You're not a morning person are you?"

"Gee, I never noticed."

My eyes narrowed at his attitude, but I proceeded to smirk a little. "Don't sass me, Malik."

"Oh shit, guess what? I just did." Zayn opened his eyes at this, his familiar smirk making its way to his lips. Shaking my head at his comment, I didn't even realise my eyes were wandering down his body to his bare chest until Zayn cleared his throat. "See something you like, angel?"