Burning Sky // Alec Lightwood ➰

Memories

  "Um...I.-" Jace interrupts me. "Look, Adam and Alec aren't really into the idea. But we think it could help. " he gestures between him, Isabelle and Clary. "Just think about it, it could lead us to, even the cup. Isn't this the whole point? To get the cup and save everyone, your mother included?"

I know that he is right, but I still can't get myself to agree on it. I run a hand through my hair and turn to look at Adam. I'm not the only one who has a say on this. I ask him a silent question with my eyes. What do you say? He shrugs, and gets up from his sitting position, grabbing my hand and leading me out of the room.

"What are we doing?" He asks me.

"I don't know, I get it, I mean I know they're right, we have to do it...." he sighs and looks at me, concern feeling his eyes.

"I am worried about you. I mean are you sure you're okay with this?"

"No...but, I'm not okay with many things Adam, but they have to be done, that's how life works." I say, playing the philosopher, too early in the morning for my liking. He nods his head at me and looks me carefully.

"Okay." He says and we return to the rest of the group, all sitting silently at the table.

"We're in."announces my brother and while Jace Isabelle and clary seem happy about it I can't help but notice Alec looking at me with a worried expression.

"I'll drive." I announce and everyone turns to look at me wide-eyed.

"Heck no!" Objects Alec and Isabelle nods agreeing with him.

"We'll walk." She announces and I look at them dumbfounded.

"Are you kidding? It's like half an hour from here. We will walk?"

Alec shrugs. "Still better than your driving." I scoff turning to the other shadowhunters offended.

"Oh c'mon I'm not even that bad." I say but nobody seems ready to support me, as they all face the floor.

"You are worse." Agrees Alec and I turn to glare at him over my shoulder.

^^^^

After half an hour of walking through the streets of Brooklyn, since everyone refused to get in a car with me, we finally arrive at our destination.
 
My breath hitches at my throat at the side of the house that I haven't seen in months. I am too afraid to get in, terrified of all the memories that are already starting to resurface.

Jace pushes the metal door and we step into our garden walking towards the entrance.

Something is off. There is no green left here, it looks like someone burned it. The house itself isn't in the best condition ever. Walking in I realize that that was an understatement.
 
The whole place is destroyed, like there was some big fire in here. There's nothing left.
 
I stand there quietly observing the torched place that I once used to call a home. There have been like years since the last time that it actually felt like that. But seeing it in this condition...isn't exactly easy for me.
 
I turn to look at my brother whose eyes have tear up. He holds my hand in his as a sign of compassion and I gently squeeze his back.

  "Your mother must have done it." Starts Jace breaking the silence.

"She did it to protect you." Alec jumps in with a gentle voice.

"How?" Asks Adam voicing my thoughts. "She was taken."

"She probably knew a warlock, she should have been ready for a kind of attack. She had many things up her sleeve." Explains Isabelle and we nod.
 
We make our way upstairs to check the other rooms. Adams room is in the same state as the rest of the house, nothing left of him or me. And then there is mine. Or the room that used to be mine and May's before her death. I couldn't stand living in the same room that she did. To know that she once existed in this place, alive and happy and magical. I couldn't stand remembering the way she roamed around, dancing, singing, all over the place. Her smell, the two bottles of cologne left on the nightstand, the brush, still with her hair on it. Her clothes in the closet, her teddy bear that she kept even though she was eighteen. It was just too much. So after like a few months I decided to go to Adams room. No trace of her.

When I walk in a crushing fear overwhelms me. The room is in a similar state as every other room in here, just burned. The pink on the walls is barely recognizable any more, if I didn't know it I could miss it. All of our thing have been destroyed. All those things left untouched after her death, no one daring to move them. To erase the last trails of her. I think that no one of us was ready to admit that she was gone forever. And when we finally did, the aftermath was a big explosion. Destroying everyone in this house.
 
I don't know for how long I have been standing here but I notice everyone is gone now. I am standing alone in front of the door, not daring to place my foot in the room. There is no point anyway.