Orphans | Larry

17

HARRY POV

The commotion behind the closed door was still clearly present, yet muffled slightly by my attempt to drown it out. Headphones pressed deep into my ears, the heavy bass creating a steady rhythm that soothed me.

My actions earlier had been irrational and uncalled for. There was no explanation that would justify the way that I had so quickly ran away, without even a moments hesitation. No explanation to justify the surge of emotion that had come as a result of the sight in front of me.

I would have to create an 'extravagant' excuse of a stomach bug, which would surely not be believed by a single one of them. But that could wait. For now, I had to be alone, for when I am alone I let myself think. Thinking can be the most destructive thing, and yet the need to self-destruct is always there.

Which is why that is what I will allow myself to do. I will allow myself to think until my eyelids shut, and the darkness pulls me under along with them. For the only time that I am truly peaceful, is when I am asleep.

-

I woke with a throbbing sensation in my head. The sunlight weaving its way through the cracks of the curtains that had not been properly closed.

Niall's apartment was eerily quiet, a sign that proved we were the only two currently residing within it.

I grimaced at the fact that I was still wearing last nights clothes, placing my hands either side of me in order to lift myself from the mattress. I paced around the room, tidying it in order to quieten the battle that had already began brewing within my mind.

It was constant, it felt as if it would never stop. My thoughts would consume me fully one day, I was certain of it.

I had never once been grateful for Niall's messiness, but for now it kept me occupied, and sometimes, you just had to be occupied.

I slipped myself out of last nights skinny jeans, the material refusing to stop clinging to me. I took off the shirt and replaced my outfit with a random jumper that I found laying around, alongside some joggers from the overnight bag that I had bought.

It wasn't particularly cold for this time of year, which surprised me, yet the steady breeze was clearly still present. Leaving a trail of goosebumps in its path. It was a bittersweet type of comfort.

Deep down I longed for the warmth that only a person could bring, the warmth that I had experienced around a certain blue-eyed boy. Yet I knew that the cold was what grounded me, kept me from drowning myself in the feeling that was often referred to as love.

I had yet to figure out why I had reacted in such a way. It was a feeling of jealously that I had never once experienced. With Erika, I had not minded in the rare occurrence that someone had checked her out, or in the much less rarer occurrence that she had flirted with somebody else. At the time I had thought it was due to the fact that I was comfortable within the relationship, yet now I was not so sure that was the reasoning behind it.

I had always believed that love was grown gradually, that passion at the beginning of a relationship was not needed, for it would be developed over time. My mother had always told me that a relationship that would last, was one that wasn't initially based off of infatuation. I had never once questioned my sexuality, and yet the way that I felt around Louis was a feeling of what could only be described as pure infatuation. And as far as I was aware, you didn't get infatuated with your friends. 

I considered having a shower, but despite the sleep that I had, I was far from well rested, even to do a simple task such as shower. It was understandable really. How was I expected to have slept well when my mind was whirring at a hundred-miles-an-hour? Not allowing me a single moment of uninterrupted slumber.