Weird Dear Evan Hansen One-Shots!

Dear, Evan Hansen Discovers Hamilton

• "Aaron Burr protection squad!." -Jared

• "This is like the opposite of conflict resolution..." -Evan

• "51 essays...I feel pretty worthless right about now." -Connor

• "No Alex, I don't think I know what you mean. Where exactly does your shoe fit?" -Evan
"SMOL EVAN MUST NOT ASK SUCH QUESTIONS!" -Jared

• "Alexander you son of a ********************************************" -Connor
"Alex, why?" -Evan
"If either of you ever did that, I would...sob probably." -Jared

• "Yes Eliza!" -Evan

• "Wow Philip...wow." -Jared

• "Not smart Alex." -Connor

• "Why are my eyes sweating?" -Jared
*sniffles* -Connor
*is hysterically sobbing* -Evan

• "Well I'm obsessed with this now." -Evan

***The next day***

Connor and Jared both woke up to the soft light of their boyfriend's cellphone.

"Ugh! Babe it's 6 a.m.!" Jared groaned.

"I know! I've been up for two hours reading Lams fanfiction." Evan yawned.

"You read fanfics about lambs? Doing what?" Connor stood up to make coffee.

Evan chuckled at at his boyfriend's ignorance. "No, Lams L-A-M-S it's the official ship name for Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens."

"Wait your shipping our founding fathers?" Jared asked scratching his neck.

"Yeah and he's doing it wrong. If anything it should be a poly between Hamilton, Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette." Connor said accompanied by the clinging sound of the spoon against the mug as he stirred the coffee.

"Yeah, Hamilsquad is good too." Evan got up to give good morning kisses to each of his boys.

"Holy c*** they named that too?!?!" Jared said, getting up from the couch to stretch.

"Yeah, it's my third OTP after Lams and JeffMadds." Evan smiled and took out the box of Froot Loops.

"How can you not see how weird it is to ship past presidents?!?!" Jared scoffed and ran to get the milk from the refrigerator.

"Most of them weren't presidents."

"Connor, how can you support this?!?!"

"It's just musical fanfiction."

"Here!" Evan said and shoved his phone into Jared's hands. "Just read some!"

***Two hours of Fanfiction Later***

"But What is it with John Laurens and turtles?" Jared asked randomly.

"I don't know. What is it with Thomas Jefferson and macaroni?" Connor mumbled in a monotonous voice. 

"Did you guys know the guy who plays Jefferson is also Lafayette?!?!" Evan came in running from his bedroom.

"You mean Daveed Diggs? Yeah." Connor chuckled.

"I thought he was actually French!" Evan cried.

"And John Laurens is Philip Hamilton."

"Peggy is Mariah." Jared added.

"No, not Peggy!" Evan gasped. "Why are they all the same people?"

"I don't know but Maddison is Mulligan."

"So the same guy who was really quiet and innocent bragged about having sex with horses...?" Connor chuckled.

Jared shivered, "thanks so much for that, babe."

"No problem." Connor grinned.

"I'm kinda starting to ship Marliza." Jared said after sticking his tongue out at Connor. "They don't need Alex to be happy!"

"Hamilsquad is still better..." Connor sang. 

"Your entitled to your wrong opinion 100% love." Jared smiled.

The boys spent the rest of the Saturday on Wattpad and reading fluffy stories to each other all the while being completely unproductive but completely happy.

The End

Hope you enjoyed it!! I'd tried not to spoil anything! Sorry again for the slow update!!! I'll definitely be faster with the next one!

🎶 I have the honor to be your to be your Really-Weird Author,

IR6 🎶