Glass Hearts

Chapter 21:

Okay sooo. THE REAL ANALIYA AND HANNAH BOTH GOT WATTPAD ACCOUNTS.

SO THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO THOSE CUTE LITTLE SHITS.

Yeah, so this chapter is Michaels suicide note. It's a bit random, but I mean.. It's Michael.

And this is the last chapter before the epilogue

Holy fuck

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Chapter 21:

My dearest Ashton.

Okay, that's a bit corny. But if you couldn't tell, I like corny things. I like having corny first dates and giving you corny pet names and addressing my letters with "My dearest."

I know you used to love it when I would do that.

Anyways:

Obviously you wouldn't know this, but its going to be really weird going to the post office and telling them to mail this "Mysterious package" to my boyfriend on this exact day three years from now. Why three years? Because I wanted to give time to explain things to you. And I'm really hoping I can find a way.

And hopefully you guys won't move by the time this delivers, that would be awkward.

But I mean I couldn't exactly tell them my plans y'know?

I know I should've told somebody. I know I should've gotten help.

And I'm sorry Ash.

I'm sorry I hate myself so much.

I'm sorry I couldn't look at the scars on my skin anymore.

I'm sorry I couldn't handle my mother hurting me, or my dad getting killed.

I'm sorry I couldn't handle the bullies.

I'm sorry... I'm broken.

And fuck, now there's tear stains on this letter.

I don't want you to forget about me Ashton, but I want you to be happy. Make some new friends, continue the band, find a new boy. One that will love you as much as I do. One that will love you for who you are, one who will watch corny movies with you and cuddle up on the couch with you. One who will kiss your scars and tell you you're beautiful even with those lines on your wrists.

I just want you to be happy. And maybe one day, someone will ask about me. And if they do, tell them who I was, tell them that I liked dyeing my hair a lot, tell them I was annoying, and dumb.. And that I was in love with a boy named Ashton Irwin.

Ashton Fletcher Irwin.

Because if I was alive, that's exactly what I would tell them.

And if they ask what happened to me, just tell them that my glass heart shattered to the point where it couldn't be fixed.

Because that's kind of what it was like with me. Everyday, it would crack more and more. And one day it shattered. You tried to glue the pieces back together. But then it was stepped on, beaten, mutilated. And there wasn't a thing you could do.

We all have a heart made of glass. Some of us are careful enough, and strong enough to keep it together. And others? They aren't strong enough.

I wish I was strong enough.

God Ash, I'm sorry. Tell the others I'm sorry too, tell Luke to keep smiling, tell Calum to keep being the quirky dumb-ass he is.

And Ashton?

Put the razor down, keep smiling, keep laughing, keep being yourself.

I love you

Don't you ever forget about me.

-Michael Gordon Clifford